And suddenly I lurched up, papers flying to the ground. Because I’d fucked up bad. I’d kept Lacey guessing, when all along, the truth was right here. I loved her. I needed her. I’d do anything to keep her with me, night and day, our bodies locked together, her breath mixing with mine. Shit! Fuck! Shit! Talk about giant screw-ups.
And in a few short strides, I was out the door and on my way to her bedroom. Because my world doesn’t work without the brunette … and hopefully, there was still time.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Lacey
I didn’t have concrete getaway plans yet. Because where would I go? Back to the dorms? To my mom’s place? Hardly.
But leaving was paramount, and mentally, my escape was already taking shape. I’d pack up my stuff and grab a cab to somewhere, although the location wasn’t totally clear yet. But getting away was the plan. Because Jake didn’t love me. He’d saved me, storming like Superman into the mental hospital, calling off his own wedding. But even after all that, he didn’t love me.
So I couldn’t stay. It would be too painful, like a dagger to the heart that kept bleeding non-stop. Plus there’d be the rumors. Man calls off his wedding to take up with ex-stepdaughter. Society wedding stalled by hussy daughter of the bride. I could only imagine.
A choked sob rose in my throat. Maybe that was better, considering where I was going … a big fat nowhere.
And at that moment, Jake burst into the room.
“Lacey,” was his urgent growl.
I sat up, still weak from the drugs.
“Jake you don’t have to,” came my stilted voice. “I appreciate your concern, but I’m gonna be out of your hair soon. I can’t stay, you know that,” I added with a half-hearted smile.
But instead of trying to argue, the man dropped to my bedside on his knees. I stared, floored. Jake Mason doesn’t do stuff like that, he waits for you to come to him. Besides, he didn’t love me. I was more a convenience, a distraction from his marriage to my mother. And now that that was off, he didn’t need me anymore.
But those blue eyes were fierce this time, that piercing gaze intense.
“Lacey,” he began.
“No, stop,” I said slowly. “Please, you don’t have to make excuses. I get it. Because Jake, I can’t stay. It’s not right. We didn’t start out right, and it’ll never be right between us so ….”
But his voice cut me off.
“Lacey, I love you,” came a deep growl.
That was not what I expected to hear. My face flushed, chin trembling.
“I’m sorry, what?” came my hoarse whisper. “What did you say?”
And a flood of emotions rushed through those blue eyes, but the alpha took a deep breath and said it again.
“I love you Lacey Jones. I was a fucking dumbass who almost fucked things up. But I’m not going to, not with you. I love you, and I’ll say it again and again. I love you.”
My mouth dropped, stomach dropping to the floor. Because what was going on? Sure, I knew Jake cared about me. On some level of his soul, the alpha realized that I was more than another plaything, some slut who would entertain him for a couple months. But this? An all-out declaration?
“Jake,” came my trembling voice. “What’s going on? Did you just realize this in the last fifteen minutes? Why is this happening?”
And he grabbed my hand then, kissing it fervently.
“What’s happened is that I’ve come to my senses,” he groaned. “Shit baby, I’m such a fucking selfish ass. I took from you, making you do all those things, depraved and disgusting.”
I had to cut in then.
“But I wanted to do them too,” was my trembling voice. “I wanted it as well.”
He hung his head then, ashamed.
“Lacey, I have to tell you ….”
What? What was he gonna say? That this was all a figment of my imagination? That in a moment, I’d wake up with a bing! and be devastated all over again?
But instead, the big man took a deep breath and began.
“Honey, I’m a selfish ass. I’ve always dated older women because I like old. I like mature, over-the-hill, whatever you want to call it.”
I nodded. Clearly, that wasn’t me, and his words made me tense.
He looked up then, blue eyes desperate.
“Have you ever wondered why I never took your pussy? Why we always do the back end? Sure, I love your ass, but most guys do both. Have you ever wondered why?”
I paused, choosing my words carefully.
“Of course I’ve thought about it, but I just figured that was your thing. And I liked it too,” was my soft confession. “I didn’t mind.”
He let out a tortured groan.
“Honey you have the best ass, so nice and tight,” he growled, eyes hot suddenly. But it’s more than that. It’s because I don’t want kids. I’ve never wanted kids, and so older women are the answer for me. Their ovaries are dried up, they have no chance of getting pregnant. Hell, if they were in menopause, it’s even better. So honey, I stuck with the MILFs, women who had kids, shit, even some grandmas.”