It hits me then, right in the gut.
I’m falling in love with him.
Nope, not falling.
I am in love with him.
13
Sebastian
I watch Lily as she nervously wrings her hands in her lap while we wait for Rem and Jules to get to the restaurant.
“You sure this is not going to be super awkward?” She whispers across the table like it’s some kind of secret.
“Why would it be? It’s not like Rem and Jules didn’t know already,” I try to soothe her. “Trust me, they are perfectly fine with us dating. Jules was basically jumping for joy when I told her.”
Lily arches a brow. “And Remington?”
“Well, he’s not really the jumping for joy kind of guy, but he slapped me on the back and handed me a beer, which is pretty much the same.” I look up and spot Rem and Jules as they walk into the restaurant hand in hand. “Here they are.”
Lily stiffens beside me, and I wonder why she is so damn worried about this? They walk up to our table. Rem nods his head toward me, and Jules has a smile so huge it fills her whole face. Yeah, she is definitely happy about this.
Lily stands up as Jules comes straight for her, wrapping her slender arms around her, engulfing her in a big hug. When they release each other, Lily looks around and meets Rem’s eyes. He gives her a welcoming smile that I hope soothes some of the worry. As soon as she realizes that Jules and Rem are really okay with this, she relaxes. I can see the tension drain from her body, her shoulders drop and her back becoming less like a rod.
Jules comes around and gives me half a hug as well before we all sit back down.
“I’m glad we get to do this,” Jules chimes, just as the waitress comes around and takes our drink order.
“Me too, I was a little nervous,” Lily admits. “I didn’t know what you would think about… us.”
“Lily, we are nothing but happy for you. There is no reason why you two shouldn’t be together.” Jules beams.
“Well, the university policy disagrees with you,” Lily points out.
“It’s a stupid policy, made up by some asshat paper pushers. Fuck them,” Rem chides.
“It’s not that easy. If they find out, Sebastian will lose his job and me my scholarship,” Lily says a sadness in her tone. The risk is there, in every single thing we do, but risking everything for love? Yeah, it’s worth it.
“Well, you never have to hide from us. We are happy Sebastian finally came to his senses. I mean, we could see he was head over heels for you from ten miles away. It just took him a bit to see it.” Jules says, giving me a sweet smile.
“Yeah, he is stupid like that,” Rem chuckles. “Glad you came to your senses, big bro.”
Rem is interrupted by the waitress coming to drop off our drinks and take our food order. When she leaves again, I elbow him in the side for his little show of calling me stupid.
“What was that for?” he grumbles.
“For calling me stupid.” I take a pull from the beer I ordered. Lily and Jules break off into conversation about classes, and how things have been going for each of them. Listening intently, I find nothing but joy in seeing Lily smile and interact with my family. It makes my heart swell, my thoughts shift. This is us. We’re really doing this. Really a couple. My face slices in two with the smile that overtakes it.
Moving my hand beneath the table, I find Lily’s hand and intertwine our fingers. She pauses mid-sentence, and I notice the slight intake of breath before she starts to breathe normally again. All she’s worried about lately is showing any type of PDA, but I want her to know that I don’t see her as a secret. Deep down, I want to scream to the world, she is mine, but I have to find a way to do that without jeopardizing everything we have.
“Have you noticed a change in Lex at all?” Rem asks interrupting my thoughts.
“A little, why?”
Rem shrugs, “He just hasn’t been himself. He flies off the handle at small things, and one day, I swear he was going to have a panic attack over the microwave going off.”
“Maybe he’s got PTSD?” I take another swig of my beer, “I’ve noticed he’s become a little hot-headed, but nothing insane. Maybe we should sit down and talk to him together?”
“Yeah, maybe,” Rem nods, “I just feel like a shit brother for not being there for him. Like yeah, I have my own stuff going on, but I should put more time into hanging out with him, and shit. Hell, I don’t even know where he’s staying right now.”