‘Like you intended to give me a chance to convince you before you climbed out of a window?’ Ash shook his head. ‘I can’t honestly believe that I really thought I was different. That we were going to have some perfect life together. When the truth is I’m just like all the other men you ran out on, aren’t I?’
‘No! Ash—’
He laughed, the sound bitter in his throat. ‘You’re honestly going to deny it? Then tell me, Zoey. Please. How am I different? What makes this any different from any of your other non-weddings?’
‘Because I’m in love with you!’
* * *
The moment the words were out, Zoey wished she could take them back again—could rewind her life, all the way back to that night in the hotel, with another window she couldn’t fit through. She’d have walked out of that cupboard and married David, if it meant she didn’t have to see the look of horror on Ash’s face at her words.
But they were out there now. So he might as well know everything. Maybe it would help him understand—forgive her even, one day.
Maybe he’d realise what a lucky escape they’d had, right here, today.
‘I’m in love with you, and I know you can never love me.’ She sank back to lean against the bathroom counter, holding onto the Formica for added support. ‘Grace was your true love; I get that. And I know you wanted the future you lost with her. But I can’t do it, Ash.’
‘Then why did you say yes when I proposed?’ His voice was low with barely restrained anger. Zoey looked down at her bare toes to avoid seeing the hate in his eyes.
‘Because...oh, because I wanted to be able to give you that. I wanted to be the one to give you your happily-ever-after. Your family, your future. Because I love you, and I wanted you to be happy.’
Was it her imagination, or did he actually flinch when she said the L word?
‘So what changed?’
‘I...’ What was it? One big thing, or too many little things? Was it the way he kissed her goodnight and she always waited to hear him say I love you, and her heart broke a little more when it never came? Or was it her thinking of Grace in the car that morning? Or his father saying ‘different from last time’?
Or maybe it was all just the same, big thing.
Zoey swallowed, hard, and made herself say the words.
‘I realised I can’t spend the rest of my life trying to live up to a ghost, even one I loved as much as Grace. I love you too much, and knowing I’ll never be enough for you would destroy me, in the end. So I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you, Ash.’
And with that she picked up her shoes and, leaving them dangling from her fingers, walked out of the registry office, past Mr and Mrs Carmichael and a confused-looking registrar, and out into the street.
Time to start over. Again.
* * *
Ash stared after her as the bathroom door swung closed. Then, after a moment, he realised he was standing alone in the ladies’ loos, and moved out into the corridor—only to find his parents and the registrar waiting for him.
‘We heard shouting,’ his mother said with an apologetic smile.
‘The wedding’s off,’ Ash replied.
‘Yes, we rather gathered that,’ Arthur said, looking uncomfortable at the outpouring of emotion. Ash imagined he was wishing he was back behind his desk. ‘And why, for that matter.’
His mother placed an arm around his shoulders, even though she had to reach up almost a foot to do it, even in heels. ‘Come on, darling. Let’s take you home—back to Kent with us. Everything will look a lot brighter in the morning, I’m sure.’
Ash let himself be ushered towards the door, his mind still reeling with Zoey’s words.
She loved him. Him, Ash Carmichael.
She wasn’t running because he wasn’t enough for her—or, wait, maybe she was. Because he couldn’t give her what she needed.
Because he wasn’t in love with her.
Except...
‘I have to say, son. A woman with a love and passion like that?’ Arthur shook his head. ‘I’m not sure I could let her just walk away.’ Ash blinked. That might be the most personal thing his father had ever said to him.