“What do you want from me?” Jason asked as he saw sadness flicker in her dark blue eyes. “I want us to get back together.”
“I need you to trust that I can make my own decisions. Why have you been so persistent these past few weeks? Is it because you thought I didn’t know what I was doing?”
“No,” he said through clenched teeth. “I keep at it because I’m in love with you and I don’t want to go another day without you.”
Claire’s mouth gaped open.
“And don’t ask me if I’m sure of what I’m doing and don’t tell me that it’s too soon.” His voice faded away as he thought about what he had said. His sister accused him of being reckless and impulsive as usual. His friends urged him to slow down. Their brand of help had been irritating. Insulting. He was a grown man and he knew what he wanted out of life.
“Don’t you hate it when people think they know you better than you know yourself?” Claire asked quietly.
“I do,” he forced the words out. And he had been just as arrogant with Claire. “And I was doing it to you. Which is why I need to back off.”
She frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“I trust your judgment, Claire. I always have. What you told me about your diagnosis hasn’t changed how I look at you. I’ve always been protective of you and lately I’ve been too possessive. You may not believe me, and this is the only way I can think of to prove it. Starting right now I will back down. If you want to start seeing each other again, you know where to find me.”
He slowly rose from his seat, his heart pounding fiercely as every instinct told him to retract his words. This was a big risk and he wasn’t sure it was going to work in his favor.
But Claire believed he didn’t see her as an equal. He needed to show her that he respected her decision even if it wasn’t the one he wanted her to choose.
“You’re just giving up?” she asked. “You’re walking away?”
Anger flared inside him. Jason leaned over the table, clutching the sides with his hands. “I am pulling back. Yielding. And it’s not easy. I want to throw you over my shoulder, take you to bed and convince you that we are meant to be together. I’m not even sure I have the willpower to turn around and walk away.”
Leaving had once been the easier option for him, Jason thought as he forced himself to turn around. Either he hadn’t cared about the outcome or he had decided he wanted something else in life. This time he was surrendering all of his control to the one woman who had the power to break his heart.
Jason marched out of the coffee shop and tilted his head back as a fine mist of rain coated his face. He was tempted to go back into the shop and argue his case one more time. Sit with Claire and let her do all the talking. But he’d made a promise and he was going to do his best to keep it.
He trudged back to his car as he considered her words. Had he been too protective of Claire because of her limitations? He churned the question in his mind as he walked through the parking lot. No, he’d always been protective of her, even before he knew about her disabilities. He had taken the role of Claire’s champion early on. She hadn’t asked for it. She’d never wanted it.
“Jason?”
He went still at the sound of Claire’s voice behind him. Jason cautiously spun around and found her standing next to him. Her hair was getting wet and she squinted as the rain hit her face. The messenger bag dangled from her shoulder, and she took deep breaths as if she had sprinted from the coffee shop.
“I know you don’t need my protection,” he said in a rush. Claire looked startled and he tried to explain. “Kim always complains about how overprotective I am. I guess it’s because I was the big brother and I had to show her the way. Once you and my sister became friends, that protection covered you, as well. I don’t know how to stop trying to look out for you. It’s how I take care of the people I love.”