“If you must know...” Claire rolled back her shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. “I don’t like being center stage.”
“Everyone wants to be in the spotlight,” Jason argued. “They want to be seen and heard. It’s human nature.”
“Not everybody. I do better behind the scenes,” she said softly.
Was she trying to convince him or herself? Did she think she didn’t belong in the spotlight because she found it easier to stay offstage? “You were able to put yourself out there when you got Max’s attention,” he pointed out.
“That was an unusual circumstance,” she admitted. “I can’t do it easily in the real world. It’s different when you’re online. You can create an image and no one has to know that it’s fake. No one sees the work you did to cultivate the image.”
“The whole point of this project is to put the spotlight on you so you can show what you are made of. What you are capable of doing. If that’s not going to happen, what are you going to do?”
She glanced over to where the cars were parked. The need to escape vibrated from her. “I think we should put more work into this idea.”
Jason wanted to roll his eyes. “What is it with you and work?”
She gave a shrug and looked at her boots. “Hard work has been my saving grace.”
“It’s like you want to hide behind your charts and calendars. We don’t have time for that.” He wasn’t sure why he was the one concerned about the schedule. It was usually Claire’s role to keep pointing at the clock.
“I’m feeling the time crunch.” She patted her hand against her heart. “Believe me.”
“Then what is it?” He wanted to fling his arms out in exasperation. “There is no work or thought behind acting wild and wasted. You just have to do something crazy and stupid. Everyone will take a picture and share it. People will remember what you have done this week, and that is what Max will hear about. What are you waiting for?”
Her expression was blank but tension rippled from her body.
“What did I say?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “I just realized that we’re going to need a new plan.”
Jason gritted his teeth and held back a growl of frustration. “Haven’t you been listening? You shouldn’t have a plan. You just—”
“No, seriously, Jason.” She started to wring her hands. “I can’t act like that.”
He stared at her hands and wondered where the panic was coming from. He had never seen her like this. Claire worried a lot but she didn’t give in to the panic. The worrying was her way of dealing with possible outcomes and working through it before it happened. “Why not?”
She pressed her lips together. “What if I don’t get this job?” she blurted out. “What if I’m sticking my neck out and making a fool of myself? How can I recover from that?”
Jason narrowed his eyes with suspicion. He didn’t think that was the real reason she was balking at his suggestions. “That’s not going to happen.”
“I’ve never gone all out pursuing a goal. I’m all about consistent and small steps. Even then, I’m holding back a little.”
“Why would you do that?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she muttered. “Maybe it’s my way of not getting too excited or too hopeful if it all falls apart.”
“But you have to go all out if you want to pass this test and get your dream job.”
Claire covered her face her hands for a moment. “I am so out of my comfort zone.”
Jason exhaled sharply. Why did she have to make everything so difficult? “Claire, haven’t you ever done something incredibly stupid that everyone found out and talked about it? They’re not talking about it now.”
“That’s because I haven’t done anything like that.” She frowned when he scoffed at her answer. She set her hands on her hips and glared at him. “Have you heard any rumors about me?”
He tried to come up with one but he couldn’t remember hearing any stories about Claire. He had heard plenty about his sister, but Kim had been proud of her antics.
“Well?” she asked with a defiant thrust of her chin.
“I just assumed you were good at covering your tracks.”
“I don’t make my mistakes public and I don’t bring attention to myself. That’s just how I was raised. The importance of image is ingrained within me and I can’t change my basic nature in just one night.”