Tina was shielding him. Taking charge until he was prepared. He should be the strong one, but this time Tina was looking out for him. It humbled him.
Shanti’s smile was radiant. “Thank you. I hope it’s all right that I brought Anjali here today,” she said as she watched Dev. “I have to go dub some of my dialogue but I couldn’t bring myself to leave her alone.”
“It’s not a problem,” he said gruffly as he forced himself to stand. His gaze collided with the baby’s big brown eyes. Anjali frowned and stuffed her fingers in her mouth.
“She’s beautiful,” Tina murmured.
“Would you like to hold her?” Shanti asked.
He felt the wave of tension crash through Tina. It mirrored his own. He knew his wife wanted to decline but she couldn’t find the words. Before he knew it, Shanti transferred Anjali into Tina’s arms.
Dev’s throat tightened as he saw Tina hold Anjali carefully in the crook of her arm. It shouldn’t hurt this much to see his wife hold a baby. Watching Tina blink back the tears shouldn’t make him feel weak and impotent.
Dev wrapped his arm around her waist as he inhaled the baby’s scent. It was agony. He wanted Tina to lean on him but she stood ramrod-straight. Together they could get through this.
Anjali’s mouth turned down. Dev had no doubt the baby felt their pain. Sensed the sadness they tried to hide. Suddenly the baby started to cry. The sound pierced through the quiet atrium.
Tina tried to soothe the girl but it only seemed to make the baby cry more. Her movements became more frantic. Dev rubbed Tina’s back, wishing he could stroke the tension from her body. If only he could make a joke or a lighthearted comment, but his mind was blank.
“I think she wants her mother,” Tina decided as she handed the infant back to Shanti. The movie star held her baby close and murmured a few words as the baby cried. Shanti reached into the stroller and pulled out a toy rattle.
Dev stiffened as he dropped his hand from Tina’s back. The brightly colored rattle was the same as the one he had bought in anticipation for their child. It had been the first toy of many.
The baby’s cries faded and Dev thought his knees were going to buckle. Tina reached for Dev’s hand and laced her fingers with his. She held on tight as she silently offered her support.
“I’m sorry about this,” Shanti said as she waved the rattle to distract her daughter. “Anjali is usually content and happy.”
Dev barely heard Tina’s response. He fought hard to hold back the dark emotions that threatened to consume him. It felt like an eternity before Shanti carried her baby out of the atrium. His shoulders sagged once the door clanged shut and the infant’s cries retreated.
“She shouldn’t have made you hold the baby,” Dev said in a low rasp as he gripped Tina’s hand harder.
“It’s all right.” Tina’s voice was soft as she returned to their table. “She wanted to share her happiness.”
Dev shook his head. He couldn’t forgive the other woman’s thoughtlessness. “Her daughter was due the same time as our son. Shanti knew this. She knew about the miscarriage.”
Tina didn’t look at him. “Maybe she thought we were over it.”
The words were like a punch in the chest. “Over it?” he said in a harsh whisper.
“Look at how our family acts about the miscarriage,” Tina pointed out as she sat back down in her chair. “My sisters never offered their condolences or visited me in the hospital. Your parents don’t speak about our son. It’s as if he has been forgotten.”
“I don’t want to forget our son.” Their son had never gotten a chance to be born but Dev would always love him.
“I’m not going to forget, either.” Tina’s hands fluttered against her eyes as she brushed away a wayward tear. “I want to honor him in some way.”
“We will,” Dev said hoarsely.
She gave a sharp nod and took a deep breath. Dev knew the signs. Tina didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He was tempted to keep talking, consider ways they could honor their son, but he knew he wasn’t feeling strong enough for the both of them.
“Until then,” she said briskly, “I need to find some work.”
Dev rubbed his hands over his face. He wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to work, and that she didn’t have to take the first role that was offered. But he knew whatever he said would be taken the wrong way.
Now he understood why Tina was driven to work. It wasn’t ambition; it was duty. She had taken whatever was offered and made the best out of it. And she would accept any role, any assignment, despite the fact that she wasn’t healthy enough to work. He had to keep that from happening since she wouldn’t take care of herself.