“Good night, Christine,” he called to her. “Sweet dreams.”
“Send me a postcard,” she said as she walked up the steps to her house. She immediately regretted the suggestion. She didn’t want to be reminded of what she thought she had with Travis. Of what it could have been.
“I’m not leaving,” he said. “I’ll be at the bed-and-breakfast.”
“Why?” she asked as she reached for her keys. “You don’t want to be here.”
“You have no idea what I want,” he said in a growl.
She opened the door and turned. Christine saw him standing on the sidewalk. His stance indicated he was ready to defend himself, but she knew he wanted to get away.
“You don’t have to say a word,” she said as she leaned on the doorframe. “I see it in your eyes. The way you were pacing in the bank. The way you couldn’t sit still at the bar. I’ve seen it before. You’re going stir-crazy and want to leave.”
“Try not to compare me with your father.”
“Point taken.” Maybe some of the pain that was pressing against her was from the memory of her father’s desertion when the going got tough. “Travis, I don’t want to be the one holding you back,” she said as she stepped inside her house and started to close the front door. “Do what you want, but I choose to stay.”
14
CHRISTINE STARED BLANKLY at her computer screen as she slumped into her office chair. She felt as if she had trudged through the day with no energy or interest. The gray day had leached out all color and the quiet had been overwhelming. She wanted to bolt out of the bank and run back home.
But she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. She would get through this. She always did. When her dad disappeared and left her with a financial mess to clean up, she had kept her head down and worked hard. When Darrell broke up with her in the most public fashion, she went through each day as if nothing had happened. She would regain control of her emotions when she followed her routine. The disappointment and pain would eventually morph into a stupor.
Only she didn’t want to be numb anymore. She wanted the blood-pumping and heart-racing moments. The hard kisses and the soft caresses. The moments before she took a risk, uncertain of the outcome, were the scariest. But they were better than the numbness. Travis had showed her that.
Travis. Christine closed her eyes as her chest clenched with regret. She would never see Travis Cain again. She should have kept her mouth shut. He was trying to help and could have shown her a good time. A chance to forget and feel free.
But he had been wrong and there was a difference between taking a calculated risk and avoiding a problem. She had to show up at work and face the curious and concerned customers. Christine opened her eyes and looked around the bank, which had been a hub of activity all day.
She knew how Cedar Valley operated. The quirks, the unwritten rules and the rituals. Travis didn’t need to. He had no intention of staying in Cedar Valley for long.
She could picture him here. He wouldn’t blend in, but the people would gravitate to him. Christine let out a staggered sigh. She’d never know. He’d probably already left. She hadn’t seen or heard from him since she’d rejected his offer to take the day off. Christine squeezed her eyes shut as the tears burned in the back of her eyes. She had been holding him back. The man was on his way to some grand adventure while she stayed home.
She glanced at the main lobby of the bank. Would it really have been the end of the world if she had taken up Travis’s offer? There had been no emergency, no urgent matter. If she had gone with Travis, she could have done something fun and exciting. Made memories. Sure, some people would have seen her absence as proof of guilt, but she knew she wasn’t in the wrong.
She heard the entrance door of the bank open. Christine’s breath hitched in her throat as she turned to see who arrived. Her shoulders sagged with disappointment when she saw Darrell stride through the door.
Christine watched as he walked past Harold. Darrell was so different from Travis. Darrell was the golden boy while Travis had a dangerous edge. Her ex had a selfish side that he hid behind a charming smile. Travis had been considerate in and out of bed. Darrell had made her feel lacking; Travis showed her she was everything she wanted to be if she just took a chance.
Darrell was walking toward her office, and Christine swallowed a groan. He was the last person she wanted to see. Her emotions were raw and uneven. She didn’t think she could be polite to her ex-boyfriend, but he was a customer. Following habit, Christine rose from her desk and walked out of her office to greet him.