It had become a bit of a game this past week between them, about who could say the most outrageous thing. The smile disappeared from Giannis’s face. “He is your husband, child. Are you denying him rights?”
Leah coughed, choking on the flaky piece of pastry. Recovering, she took a sip of frosty lemonade. “I don’t want to ruin the afternoon by talking about it.”
“Your mother is gone. Calista is gone. I learn from Stavros that you keep to yourself. Maybe talking to an old man will help, ne?”
His overtly sweet tone made her smile. “I do not want to talk about his rights, or how subservient I have to be because I’m his wife, grandfather.”
“You want a modern marriage. I understand. But I have concern for you. You are very lonely. I see it in your eyes.”
She was lonely, she had been for so many years now. That’s why she had capitulated so easily to Stavros’s touch.
She could almost fool herself into believing that.
“Leah?”
Leah didn’t have the heart to push his concern away. It was so strange that she couldn’t be angry with Giannis when he was the one who gave Stavros all the power over her, yet she could hold a grudge against Stavros himself.
Somewhere along the line, it had become a shield, she realized. A shield that was slowly beginning to get holes. That’s what had changed.
Her grandfather clutched her fingers and she returned the pressure, feeling a sudden thickness in her throat.
“What Stavros and I have...it’s too complicated. How can I think of him as my husband or anything else respectful for that matter if he continues to treat me like a child?”
“It is his nature to protect the people he considers close.”
I’m not close to him, the juvenile taunt rose to her lips.
She didn’t care that she wasn’t, she decided resolutely.
“I have a feeling that’s all he knows how to do. He...I have never seen him laugh, never need anyone. Never seen him vulnerable.” And yet, he had looked so different that night they kissed, almost vulnerable...to her touch, to her words even. “He was probably born fully formed with a set of rules about how life should be lived, in his hand.”
Something flickered in Giannis’s gaze and Leah swallowed the rest of her words. “Stavros does not ask, or take anything for himself. Only gives.”
There was such truth in her grandfather’s words that Leah stilled. She had never seen him ask, or demand anything for himself. It had only ever been about her, or Calista or Giannis, or even Dmitri sometimes. But never about himself.
Still grappling with that, she made her voice casual and gripey again. “For all I know, he does not need anything like normal people do. He will probably order the cook to not serve me if he learned I eat my dessert first.”
A twinkle appeared in Giannis’s eyes. “You speak like this to him?”
When she nodded, he laughed, the flimsy sound bursting out of him. It shook his frail frame, and alarm crashed through her. Sensing her anxiety, he sobered. “Laughing with you is good for me. I still believe in the rightness of your marriage. You are precisely what Stavros needs in his life. And you—” something too close to the truth lingered in his eyes “—him. I wish you would give it a real try. You will find him to be an honorable man.”
Beneath his rigidness, beneath his tunnel view of the world, she hated to admit, Stavros’s actions had always been driven by good intentions.
What would it be like to trust him with her fears? What would it be like to give herself over to him? To really give their relationship a try? To be the woman he shared himself with?
Feigning a nonchalance she was far from feeling, she looked at Giannis, who watched her curiously. She had seen the questions in his eyes, had seen him hesitate. And suddenly, she couldn’t bear to go away with Giannis not knowing the truth.
Abandoning her food, she clasped his hand. “I didn’t take drugs that night. I have never touched that stuff in my life. I know I have pained you but I...”
A catch in her throat, she pinned her forehead to his hand.
How could she put her irrational fear into words?
The sound of a soft tread, the way her skin prickled, she instantly knew.