She wrapped her hand around his face and kissed him, the press of her lips against his soft and warm. A tiny smile, full of emotion curved her mouth. “I’m in love with you.”
There was no recrimination in those words, no anguish, just simple acceptance. Yet they dealt a blow to his solar plexus, leaving him winded, battered. He pulled his hands from her face. What could he say to her? He’d come back, he’d stayed last night knowing that it was wrong. “Don’t do this, Liv. Don’t push this on me. I told you—”
“I don’t want anything from you. Don’t you get it? I love you despite knowing that you’ll never admit to feeling something for me, knowing that you’ll never give us a chance, that at the end of this week, you’ll wipe me from your mind. I can’t help how I feel. I wish I could change that, I want to shut it down like you do because it hurts so much. But I am what I am.”
In the back of his mind, he’d known all along it would come to this. Olivia did nothing in half measures, her heart engaged in everything she did. Yet he’d ignored what he’d known, because he’d been weak. And now he was going to break her heart.
He felt like the lowest scum on earth. He wrenched the words from somewhere deep within, a place where he didn’t want to look at again. He turned away from her. “I have nothing to give you, Liv.”
Her hands crept over his shoulder, kneading and pressing the muscles there. An all-too-familiar hunger rose in his belly as she pressed her forehead against his nape and kissed him. “You really don’t think it works like that, do you? There’s no way out of this for me.” Her hands wrapped around him, she pressed herself to him. Everything within him quaked, his gut clenched, rebelled.
Her hug said it all, everything she was—giving, open— and everything he had trained himself to not want, to not need.
“You’re so bent on not letting anything Isabella did to you linger, don’t you see you’re letting her win, letting her influence how you live your life?”
“That’s not going to work on me.” He stiffened. It felt like needles had clawed under his skin, making every word hard to say, but he pushed it out. “I don’t want this, Olivia. I don’t want to feel anything, I can’t take it.”
Anger flashed in her gaze. She pushed away his hands and wiped the tears from her face. “Then, leave now, when I still have the strength to push you away.”
He wanted to argue, he wanted to shove her words from his mind. He dropped a kiss to her forehead and wrapped his arms around her. He crushed her mouth with his, her soft moan rumbling inside him. He couldn’t help himself. He’d already fallen in his own eyes, so what did it matter?
He bent and kissed the pulse drumming at her neck, knowing that it would drive her crazy. Her moan fueled him, bringing down the last ounce of sanity within him.
Something prickled at his nape, and he turned to the other side. A flash went on, a flare of light in the dark of dawn, blinding him.
Fury pumped through him and he turned to shield Liv with his body, but it was too late. A rabid look in his eyes, the reporter clicked a few more times and then disappeared into the dark, before Alexander could even move. His reflexes were slow, as though his mind couldn’t comprehend the horror of what had happened.
Silence had never seemed so deafening, so cold that his skin prickled. He felt her hand on his shoulder but he didn’t turn. If he did, he didn’t know what he would do. He swallowed past the mass of fury thrashing in his throat. He raked his hand through his hair, tension vibrating through every inch of him. His hands shook, his muscles burned with fury.
He cursed, even though it did nothing to alleviate the fury coursing through him. Guilt coiled through him, gaining a foothold over his insides. He was responsible for this.
He should’ve never forgotten her struggle yesterday with the paparazzi. He had stayed knowing he was putting everything he’d worked for over the past twelve years at risk and he’d done it, anyway.
He had lost control, he had given in and he was going to pay the price.
“Go back inside, Olivia. And stay there.”
He turned toward the street and walked to the approaching car. At the car, he barked out instructions to Carlos to locate the reporter. Even then, the need to turn back, the need to kiss her was an ache in his gut. But he couldn’t.
Giving into his emotions had only created a mess he had no one but himself to blame for. He had to do damage control, he had to make sure his sister was safe. He had to prepare himself for the battle that was going to come from his mother.