Her long legs folded under her, she leaned back into the couch and blew out a tired breath. He swallowed and pulled his gaze from her graceful neck. Her brown eyes twinkled as they met his. “So what’s the verdict?”
“You want your pound of flesh, Shylock?”
“Yes.”
“It was more fun than I’ve had in a while.”
Her eyes bright, she smiled. She didn’t need to give a hoot whether he had or not. But she did. And the warmth in her smile stole through him.
“Even better, we didn’t argue,” she said, her gaze slipping to his mouth for the fraction of a second.
Too tired to fight his own impulses, he watched her hungrily as she walked to the refrigerator and pulled out an ice cube.
Being attracted to her when he’d considered her a selfish, scandalous epitome of everything he despised had been easy. But she was slowly turning every arrogant assumption of his into dust.
Every nerve in him tightened painfully as she ran the ice cube over her cheeks and neck, wetting her t-shirt in the process. “Thanks for today. It was a lot of fun except when you refused to share your cotton candy with me.”
He laughed out loud. “Well, you were already hyper and every time we were on one of the rides, you looked decidedly green. Now I know you’re not as fearless as you behave. Did you go on those rides just so that you could cozy up to me?”
She threw the ice cube at him. “You really think you’re irresistible, don’t you?”
He fisted his hand over the ice cube, the idea of a cold shower sounding better and better. “Not so funny now, is it?”
“Good night, Alexander.”
Shooting up from the couch, he tugged her arm. “You were terrified for every single second of those three rides. I kept waiting for you to throw up, or to say enough.”
She shrugged. “I know. Every time I go on one of them, I tell myself this is the time I won’t be scared. But it never works that way.”
“So you’ve done this before?”
“Yep.”
“And yet you still go, knowing that you’re going to be terrified?”
“I will never know the thrill unless I do, will I? And it’s a roller coaster. It’s not like it might kill me.”
“That’s how you do everything in life, don’t you?” His question was loaded with accusation that instantly killed the curve of her mouth. But he couldn’t stop himself. “You jump on it for the thrill and to hell with the price you might have to pay.”
“You make me sound like an adrenaline junkie.”
“More like emotion junkie.”
“Well, of course, I jinxed it, didn’t I? Truce over.” She folded her hands, gearing up for a fight. “Stop messing around and just tell me what’s bugging you.”
He felt a familiar sensation pummel through his blood, something that had once almost destroyed him. He didn’t want to feel the concern tightening his chest, especially for someone like Olivia.
Because Olivia didn’t need anyone. That was her appeal, her wild defiance of every convention, her absolute acceptance of herself. Yet his analytical mind couldn’t stop seeing the pattern of why or how she did things.
Until now he had attributed it all to recklessness, to sheer lack of concern for everything in life but her selfish pursuits, yet he couldn’t hold on to that belief now.
He caught her elbow and turned her toward him. The same pervasive thrill ran through him at her nearness.
God, he’d never been so tempted to kiss someone like he wanted to kiss her, never wanted to defy his own set of rules, everything he had built his life around. Until he met Olivia, his control, his will, had never really been tested.
“Not every thrill in life needs to be chased, not every emotion needs to be explored until it consumes you. And not everything you chase is as harmless as the roller coaster, is it?”
She tugged her hand away from him, her posture stiffening. “I don’t know what—”
“Your affair, your careers, your choices in—”
She paled, her gaze stricken. “You think I had an affair with Jacques for the thrill of it?”
“No, I’m saying you’ve gotten into the habit of chasing the wrong things just so that you could find some validation, to find some.... It’s okay to say enough, to cut your losses, and even better to take control and walk away.”
“I know failure, Alexander. It’s been my longest friend.”
He shook his head. “Walking away from something that’s not good for you doesn’t equate failure. It takes just as much courage as to succeed. Believe me, I’ve been there.”