He laughed again, although it had a bitter tinge to it. He didn’t push her away and she was unbelievably glad for that. “No. But I’m weak enough to wish I was anyone but who I am.”
“No, Zafir. This...pain I see in your eyes, this grief, this love for a man whom you have every reason to hate, your courage to do the right thing by Behraat, by me, by your father, by everyone that falls in your sphere...this is what makes you you, Zafir. And why I love you so much.”
His eyes widened, his chin jerked back. As though she had taken a swing at him. As though it was impossible, even unacceptable for her to feel such a thing for him. As if it was the worst fate he’d ever faced. “Lauren...”
“Why do you sound so shocked?” she said, determined to hold on to her flailing courage. That he was so stunned was not a bad thing, she reassured herself. “But this isn’t the time, right? While your father’s waiting. So go see him.”
* * *
Zafir never returned the night he had gone to see his father. After waiting for a few hours, Lauren had fallen asleep, still worried about him.
About them.
A furor of activity took place once it had become known that the old sheikh was out of the coma. Not more than a day had gone by where he hadn’t had numerous meetings with council members, Ahmed had told her when she’d begged him for information.
All with Zafir present, she’d learned. Even the tribal chiefs were there now.
In between those long meetings, she had gone to see Rashid, too. The unresolved animosity between father and son, mostly from Zafir had rattled her. When his father had asked Zafir to leave them alone, he’d point-blank refused.
To which, Rashid had leveled him a long look.
Rashid, his gaze incisively intelligent, had quizzed her about her family, her life in New York. But couldn’t really say much with his son watching them like a hawk.
Two days later, Zafir found her in the library, one of her favorite rooms in the palace. Dressed in a gray silk suit that lovingly draped over his shoulders, he was all business.
A team of aides and the ever-present Arif stood outside the door.
“I have a three-week trip to Asia,” he said regretfully, after kissing her, right in front of the library staff and Ahmed.
“Three weeks?” she sounded dismayed, and for once she didn’t care. She was tired of seeing those shadows in his eyes. Tired of wondering if he was pulling away from her. Tired of the constant ache in her chest. “You’re not doing this to avoid me, are you, Zafir?” She’d no idea where she had found the strength to pose that question, this courage to put herself out there when it was becoming more and more obvious that it was the last thing he wanted to hear.
His mouth flattened. “I’m trying to get these long trips out of the way so that I can have an easier schedule when the baby comes. We’ll talk when I come back. I promise, Lauren.”
She had held on to him tightly, curbing the words that rose to her mouth, wanting to be given voice again and again. Locked away the wet heat that pricked at her eyes. The depth of her feelings for him, the longing for him, it wasn’t something she was used to yet.
“I’ve told my father,” he said, “that he’s to leave you alone while I’m gone. Don’t let him bully you in my absence.”
* * *
The next couple of weeks passed in a blur. Just as Zafir had warned her, Rashid had summoned her twice but she had found excuses both times. Not that she was afraid of him. She was more worried she would rip into him for Zafir.
Her first ultrasound was due in a few days and Zafir and she had argued over the phone about whether they should learn the sex of the baby. And when he laughed like that, when he told her that he couldn’t wait to kiss her, everything was perfect in her world.
She’d just finished her yoga class and showered when Ahmed informed her that Salma was in the city and wanted to visit with her.
Thrilled, Lauren welcomed Salma with a hug. She took the chubby infant from Salma, and cuddled her. Farrah, who had stayed on to see Salma, translated between them.
Laughing, they chatted together happily. But when Farrah repeated something Salma had said, Lauren was confused. “I’m sorry, what does she mean, she’s happy I accepted the arrangement?”
Farrah asked Salma to elaborate. Salma’s response, translated by Farrah, “She says that her grandfather, the chief of the Dahab, made a promise to Zafir. In return for you saving Salma’s and the baby’s life, he would bring the tribes together, help Zafir unite them with state. As long as Zafir stopped following in his father’s footsteps and married the nurse. With the tribes back in the fold, the High Council finally had to accept his rule.”