‘Now, is there any other reason?’ he said. ‘Because if there’s not I’m going to ask you to marry me again.’
‘You didn’t try to stop me leaving, you didn’t tell me you loved me when I left.’
‘Because I was fighting my feelings. Afraid of how I felt. And I knew how much you wanted this trip, Sophie. I wouldn’t dream of trying to stop you. After what you told me I needed time to think. I asked myself if I wanted those kids without you, and the answer is no. Never. You are my life, Sophie.’
She could no longer hold those carefully banked tears back and they spilled over and down her cheeks. ‘I know how much you love kids, what a great father you’d make…’
Barely a pause, hardly a flicker in his eye. But there was something steely in the determined jut of his jaw. ‘Sophie. We can’t have children. We, plural. Shared. The two of us. Together. I’ll say it again—we can’t have children.’
Her tears spilled faster. He’d known, yet still he’d come all the way across the world for her. Because he loved her. He wanted to marry her.
‘Tell me about it,’ he begged her softly. ‘Did you lose a baby? Is that why you didn’t want anything to do with Arabella?’
She sniffed away her tears. ‘I’d always wanted children. Glen wanted children almost as badly as me. But I’d always had problems in that area. When I didn’t fall pregnant they ran tests. The doctors told me it was unlikely I’d ever conceive even with surgery, I had too much scarred tissue. And I was only twenty-one.
‘Then a miracle happened. I was pregnant.’ She looked down at her hands, remembering the heartache. ‘It was an ectopic pregnancy. After…I only had one tube left and my chances were halved. Practically zero.’
She was conscious of Jared’s hand over hers, his quiet empathy. ‘Go on,’ he murmured.
‘Glen didn’t see why he should miss out on being a father just because I was only half a woman—’
‘Hang on, half a woman? He said that?’
She nodded and felt a tremor run from his hand to hers. ‘So he set out to find a woman who could give him what I couldn’t. He didn’t consider being married to me to be an impediment. Apparently he worked his way through quite a few lovers before he hit the jackpot.’
‘Bastard.’ The word slid out between clenched teeth.
‘I think so.’
‘Did you look at other alternatives? IVF, for instance?’
She shook her head. ‘Why would Glen want to pay all that money with no guarantees? A divorce is faster and cheaper. And far easier to go out and find someone more fertile to father his offspring.’
‘I’m not like Glen.’ He seemed to choke on the man’s name.
She looked into his eyes. ‘I know you’re not like him. But I’ve seen you with Arabella and I know how good you are with babies. You’d want your own children…’
He shook his head. ‘Sophie, maybe under present circumstances we can’t have our own children, but we haven’t really given it a go yet, have we? You talked about your miracle—what makes you think two miracles can’t happen? In the meantime we can look into those alternatives. And if all else fails, we can foster or adopt. There are always kids in need of loving homes. You have to remember, you’re not alone in this. We’re a team. All you have to do is say you’ll marry me.’
‘You mean that.’ She breathed the wonder of it. ‘You really mean it.’
‘Don’t look so surprised, honey.’ Smiling at her, he stroked her hair. ‘Of course I do, with all my heart and soul and everything that I have.’
‘I love you too, and I don’t want to be without you but it’s taken me years to get here…I…haven’t finished yet.’
‘That’s okay. I’ve taken leave. I’ve never taken leave so I reckon I deserve it. And I’ve got a nice suite for the two of us in a top hotel with a view of the Thames a ten-minute walk from your place of work. That is if you still want to work… Or would you rather travel the UK and Europe in style? With me.’
‘Oh…’ A whole new world was opening up to her. A world with Jared by her side…
‘You don’t have to be alone any more, Sophie. Let me be a part of your decisions. Let’s make those plans together. Paris, Rome, Florence…wherever you want to go. As long as we go home together when we’re done.’
Home. And she realised that was what she wanted, more than anything. To have this man—the man she loved—sharing her life. The good times…and the bad. She could still maintain her independence. She knew Jared would support her one hundred per cent in whatever she chose to do.