The way he coupled himself with the faceless woman made Sophie’s stomach clench. But the reason his relationship with Bianca hadn’t worked out was the same reason he’d never want long term with Sophie.
No kids wasn’t an option for Jared.
The back of Sophie’s throat, her eyes, burned with the sting of unshed tears. Low in her belly the eternal aching emptiness unfurled, then twisted in on itself. She didn’t have what a man—any man—wanted in a wife. She didn’t have what it took to be the woman Jared would eventually marry. And he would marry down the track a bit, she knew. If what Pam said was true, he might be Playboy of the Gold Coast right now, but he was the marrying kind, a family guy.
It wouldn’t be her he’d settle down with. Because she could never give him the babies she knew would be a non-negotiable part of any commitment.
Desperate to change the mood, to put some space between them, she sat up, reached for her plain cotton dressing gown with the pink polka dots on the wicker chair by the bed. ‘Tell you what, I’ve changed my mind. I’ve decided I can move after all, and I want ice cream. In the kitchen. Not naked.’
Right now she couldn’t be naked and be with him at the same time. Pulling on her dressing gown and hugging it around her like a security blanket, she headed down the hallway, her feet silent on the marble tiles. If he made a move on her any time soon she’d probably lose what little composure she had left, and she would not allow him to see that.
She set a couple of bowls on the counter top, pulled the tub of ice cream from the freezer. She’d just had a timely reminder that her life’s path lay in a different direction from his.
A path she’d chosen. A path she’d wanted for a long time. She was jetting thousands of kilometres across the world. Independent. Living her dream.
Strange how it suddenly didn’t sound half as exciting as it had a few days ago.
‘Okay, not naked.’
At the sound of Jared’s voice, Sophie turned to see him not naked too. He wore his boxers and a serious expression that asked too many hard questions. About the way she’d escaped from their bed so quickly.
Lose the angst fast, Sophie. She dipped her finger in the ice cream and licked its cold creamy-tart taste. ‘It’s good.’
‘It’s blackberry.’ His eyes had that familiar wicked glint.
‘I noticed.’ She dipped her finger in again, held the blob to Jared’s lips. Keep things bright.
They watched each other as he sucked it off her fingertip, but he was attuned enough to her mood to say, ‘Let’s sit somewhere comfortable and you can tell me what you think of this place.’
Changing the topic to something neutral, switching the focus away from her. She was surprised how sensitive he was to her emotions. Maybe because he was surrounded by females. Growing up with two sisters, a female dog and now a niece, he probably knew women better than she did herself.
They stretched out on the sofa, their legs close, their feet on the coffee table in front of them and their bowls of ice cream on their stomachs.
‘You’ve bought yourself a new home in Surfers to renovate, Pam told me.’
‘Yes, but I’m in no hurry. That’s why we’re staying here. I like some of the ideas and I wanted a close-up inspection.’
‘So what do you like about it?’ Sophie asked, sucking on her spoon.
‘The pool outside the bedroom, for starters. I can sleep, swim, then breakfast in one fluid sequence.’
‘It’s a very dangerous idea with young children around,’ she pointed out.
He turned to her, his eyes probing hers before saying, ‘I don’t have any children.’
Not yet. ‘What about Arabella? When she comes to visit? In a year she’ll probably be walking and getting up to no end of mischief.’
He frowned, tapping his spoon pensively against his bowl. ‘Good point. I hadn’t thought of that. Thank you.’
‘Other than that, though, the pool’s a splendid idea.’
‘Any other thoughts on the place?’
‘I like that it’s so light and airy you feel as if you’re outdoors. And the open-air kitchen that’s not really a kitchen but more of an island.’
‘Speaking of feeling as if you’re outdoors…’ he reached for her bowl, set it on the coffee table with his ‘…there’s an architectural wonder in the master bedroom I haven’t shown you yet.’
And a wonder it was indeed.
Long after Jared had fallen asleep, Sophie was still staring up at the field of stars visible through the massive circular window. With a flick of a switch it could be cleverly concealed by a ceiling panel in the form of a rosette. Amongst the snowy pillows it was like lying on top of a cloud and watching the night drift past. Like magic.