Could they...?
He squashed the hope. It was one thing suggesting it and quite another going through with it.
‘Angelo, I didn’t mean—’
‘I know,’ he cut in, a little more brusquely than he should have done.
She stared at him. ‘You don’t have to snap.’
‘Sorry,’ he muttered.
‘You don’t sound it.’ She frowned. ‘Don’t take out your bad mood on me. That’s not fair.’
It was what Eric had done, and that made Angelo feel guilty enough to snap back, ‘No, and not being able to have children isn’t fair, either.’
‘I know,’ she said, her voice very quiet, ‘and I feel for you. Not pity—sympathy, and there’s a big difference. But I think you’re wallowing in it and using it as an excuse not to make any effort.’
‘What?’ He stared at her in disbelief. She was accusing him of wallowing in the thing that had ripped his life apart?
‘Not every woman’s going to react like your ex. But I guess it’s easier to shut yourself away from everyone than to have the guts to try again.’
She was absolutely right, and that made his temper flare. ‘Says the woman who won’t trust her own judgement.’
She didn’t deny it. But she put her hands on her hips and glared at him. ‘At least I’m trying.’
‘Are you?’ That wasn’t what she’d said to him.
‘I tried,’ she said, ‘with you. But you’re too obstinate to consider anything but your own point of view. You’re pig-headed, and you’re so wrong it’s untrue.’
‘I’m trying to do the right thing for you. You want children and I can’t have them, so there’s no point in us getting together because we’ll just let each other down.’
‘So why did you sleep with me last night?’
He had to take that one on the chin. Own up to what he’d done. ‘Because I was being selfish.’ And, actually, so was she. ‘But you agreed it was just for one night. Now you’re changing the terms.’
‘No, now I’m being honest with myself and admitting that I want more than just a fling—that I’m worth more than that. And it’s OK to admit that.’
‘Is it?’
Her eyes widened. ‘Are you telling me you’re trying to be noble?’
‘You want children and I can’t give you what you want—so, yes, I suppose I am. You’re free to find someone who can give you what you want.’
‘Like Stephanie did?’ She shook her head. ‘You know I’m not her. How stubborn and blinkered can you get? You’re just making us both miserable with your refusal to see anything other than your point of view. Ironically, you’re the one who showed me that I’m worth more—but you won’t give me more. You’re using your infertility as an excuse.’
‘I’m not a coward.’
‘I’m not saying that. Angelo. I’m saying it’s not a weakness to admit you want something.’
‘Even if you can’t have it?’ He curled his lip. ‘That’s just pointless. Crying for the moon.’
‘Even if you think you can’t have it,’ she corrected. ‘Because you can work round things. Because not everyone has the same views as your ex. For what it’s worth, I think she was incredibly selfish and you’re worth more than that.’ She took a deep breath. ‘But you’re the one being selfish now. You’re not considering what I might want.’
‘Are you considering what I might want?’ he countered.
‘Yes. But if you’re not prepared to be honest about it, there’s no point in having this conversation.’ She shook her head. ‘You know what? I need some space from you. If it wasn’t for the fact I promised your grandfather I’d find out the truth about the painting for him, I’d walk out on the job right now.’
‘Then walk out,’ he said. Hurt made him lash out and he added, ‘Just like Stephanie did.’ Mariana reckoned she wasn’t the same as his ex, but right now she was doing exactly the same thing.
‘I,’ she said, narrowing her eyes at him, ‘will make my own way home.’