“Sure,” I found myself saying. “Why not?”
The whole drive over I wondered if I was making a mistake. Mark seemed overjoyed to have me over, and if nothing else, at least I was making my best friend happy. Mark had really looked out for me over the years and I owed him, so to speak. But would I really be helping, or hurting, by seeing Maggie again?
I felt like an alcoholic trying to get one last fix, trying to get a final hit off the bottle so that he could say a proper goodbye. I’d been avoiding Maggie all of this time for a reason—being with her was a bad idea. And yet—I wanted her. I wanted to see her again, to enjoy her company. I wanted to… well. I shoved that thought down. Maybe just seeing her again, no sex required, would be enough for me to get over this nonsense and put her out of my mind for good.
A man could hope, right?
I parked on the street, then met Mark at the front door. He looked relaxed but excited, and I felt guilt all over again for finding reasons to stay away from the house the last few years when I knew Maggie might be around. “You just relax,” Mark told me, gesturing towards the living room. “Put the game on. I’ve just gotta make the sauce real quick and then I’ll join you.”
Mark was the kind of guy who planned ahead and got everything done in an actual orderly fashion. It was part of what made him such a good accountant. I wasn’t like that at all—that’s why I made such a good artist.
I waved him off, sitting down in the living room and trying to relax. I’d been in this house in the last few years, of course. But only when I was sure that Maggie wasn’t there. Now that I was here and knew she was around, I felt like I was the fox in the henhouse—and like I had stumbled into the lion’s den, all at the same time.
Footsteps sounded on the stairs as someone came down, and I knew, I knew without even looking, that it was Maggie.
I looked up and my breath caught as I saw her.
She was beautiful. Five years and nothing had changed. Well, some things had changed. She looked more mature, more thoughtful. Something of the carefree air she’d used to have about her was gone. She didn’t seem sad, or anything, just… more focused, more serious. But, if it was even possible, she’d only gotten better-looking in the time since I’d seen her last. It was like getting hit with a sledgehammer, and I found myself wishing that I hadn’t pushed her away all those years ago. That I had gone with my gut, instead of my shame, and had kept her close to me.
Being with her had been the single most exhilarating moment of my life, and I had just thrown that away. I should’ve known better. Instead I’d lied to her.
I stood up. “Hey, Maggie.”
Maggie froze.
I didn’t think she realized I was there until I stood up and said her name. Now she was like a deer in the headlights, staring at me, her gorgeous hazel eyes a bit wide.
I walked closer, wondering how she was going to react. I caught a whiff of that ocean breeze shampoo she’d always used and found myself wanting to chuckle. Some things changed, but some things stayed the same. I loved how she smelled.
“Been a long time,” I noted. Now that I had Maggie in front of me, I wasn’t sure what to say. I had plenty of ideas of what to say: I still crave you, I think about you at night, I touched myself just yesterday thinking about fucking you. But none of those, I guessed, would be welcome.
Maggie nodded, taking a step back from me.
“How’ve you been?” I asked, surprised at her reticence. Maggie had always been the sort of person who wasn’t scared to voice her opinion or her thoughts. For her to be so silent now was… remarkably out of character.
“Good.” Just a one-word answer. I wanted to ask who this pod person was and what had they done with my Maggie.
Not that she was my Maggie, just… the Maggie that I had always known. That talkative girl who’d never had a problem with asking me about my art or my life, and telling me about hers, cracking jokes with me. The girl who’d come onto me with so much confidence that until she’d told me and I’d felt it for myself, I hadn’t though there was any way that she could still be a virgin.
“I heard you moved south,” I said, practically kicking myself over how stupid I sounded. Really? I’d heard she moved south? That was the best that I could come up with?