“Better?” he asked, tilting my face up to his.
No, nothing was better, but fuck, now that I could look at him, he was so fucking handsome. He was so much sexier, so much more beautiful than I’d ever imagined behind my blindfold, even if he was gold instead of dark.
It didn’t matter. I still hated him. “I’m not better,” I said stiffly.
“What can I do? How can I make it up to you? How can I make you feel better? I didn’t hurt you, did I? I mean, your body? I was careful not to hurt you, even if it didn’t feel that way.”
In hindsight, I realized that. When he hit me, he hadn’t hit me hard. When he deflected my kicking and scratching, he hadn’t retaliated. But he’d scared me to death, which was the worst injury of all.
“I wish you hadn’t done this,” I said. “You ruined everything between us.”
He looked into my eyes, and then he shook his head. “There’s nothing between us to ruin. You didn’t trust me to begin with. You don’t trust me now.”
He could be so harsh. Such an asshole. “I trust you less now than I trusted you before,” I said.
“You shouldn’t. You know what I look like now. That’s trust, isn’t it? I’m not horrible. You thought I’d be horribly ugly, didn’t you?”
“You’re horribly ugly because you’re mean. You’re a psycho.”
I watched the faint smile fade from his lips. “I go too far sometimes,” he admitted. “I do everything too big, too far. It’s my worst fault. You know what your worst fault is?”
I gave him a withering look. “Continuing to see you?”
“No. Your worst fault is not trusting yourself. Not believing in yourself. You knew it was me. You knew in the lobby. You knew in the elevator. You knew when we stood there looking at each other in the hall.” His quiet voice accused me. Everything he said was true. “You knew in your heart that it was me, but you doubted yourself. Not only did you doubt, but you didn’t speak up. If you’d turned to me and said, ‘I know it’s you’ I would have nodded and said you were right. I mean, I still would have stuck your panties in your mouth and raped you, but I would have admitted it was me.”
“I couldn’t say anything,” I reminded him. “Your hand was over my mouth. You made me pass out.”
“That was extremely hot, by the way.”
“I hate you. I should press charges.”
He didn’t look afraid when I said this. He looked approving. “Yes, you should, but you won’t. That not-trusting-yourself thing again. Is it enough for me to say that I won’t ever fuck with you that bad again? On the bright side, now I know how far is too far.”
“First thing,” I said, sticking a finger under his nose. “There is no bright side to what you just did to me. Second thing, you don’t know how far is too far. What you did was way, way past what I’m okay with. What anyone would be okay with. Especially me.”
“All right. Let’s talk about that.”
“No, I’m leaving.”
He took my hand when I tried to get up. “Did you bring a bathing suit?” he asked. “I told you to bring a bathing suit.”
Of course I’d brought my bathing suit. I enjoyed following his directions, to a point. “I brought one, but it doesn’t matter, because I’m leaving,” I told him. Our time wasn’t up, but I didn’t care.
“The pool here is really beautiful. Peaceful. When’s the last time you went swimming?”
I looked into his eyes, his handsome, intent blue eyes, and said, “I don’t want you to touch me ever again.”
I saw a flicker of disappointment. Regret. He let go of my hand. “Will you go swimming with me if I promise not to touch you?”
His promises meant nothing to me. Less than nothing.
On the other hand, I hadn’t been swimming in a long, long time.
In Between
Now that I was calmer, and not in fear of being murdered, I was able to study the man across from me in the azure blue pool. He was handsome as fucking sin.
So far he’d kept his promise. He hadn’t touched me. I needed distance and he seemed to understand that. Even in the elevator, we’d stood on opposite sides, facing the front.
The Empire Hotel’s pool was beautiful and peaceful, situated high above the cacophony of the city. The sun was setting and the air was thin and pink, like my bikini. Breezes blew across the patio enclosure. The pool was small, but the sky was big, and no one else was here. W swam laps like a fucking Olympian, perfect form, back and forth, muscular arms slicing through the water. I bobbed in the corner because I could only dog paddle.