Mack was watching me when he answered Jace, “Don’t know about you, but in my experience, not a whole lot of business goes down in the middle of the night other than the dirty kind.”
Worry tripped through Mack’s expression. “Need you to tell me straight. How deep are you?”
“Not deep enough,” I told him.
But I knew I was about to get deeper.
Agitated, fucking broken in a way I never should have allowed myself to be, I scrubbed a palm over my face. “Listen . . . I’m going to get out of here. See if I can figure anything out.”
Mack stood and slowly walked over to me and set a hand on my shoulder. He squeezed. “Think you should lie low, man. With this shitstorm of a media frenzy, the last thing you need is to be drawing more attention to you or Grace. Let me dig. See what I can find. It would be best if you could remove yourself from the whole situation. Let the cops do the footwork.”
“I can’t just sit idle, man. I have to do something. I know I’m missing something. I can feel it right there, just out of reach.”
Understanding dawned in his eyes. “You love her.”
Agony pulsed through my spirit.
Grief.
Sorrow.
I bit it back.
“Doesn’t matter what I feel. Only thing that matters is her getting custody of her kids.”
Warily, he nodded. “I get it. I get it. But you’ve got to be careful. Don’t make this worse than it already is. Gut tells me Reed would love to see you go down.”
“I’m already down. Not sure he could kick me any farther.”
Mack sent me a look that called bullshit. He knew my connections went deep, tied to Bennet in a way that was dangerous.
I stared right back. Promising she was worth it.
He nodded again. “Call me if you think of anything, and I’ll see what I can pull together.”
Jace rounded the bar. “Both of us . . . we’re here to back you up. Just . . . don’t do anything stupid. Two of us will be here for you, however you need us to be.”
My attention bounced between the two of them. “Thank you.”
Jace shook his head. “You’re my brother, Ian. From the beginning, we’ve had each other’s backs. That’s not ever gonna change.”
He squeezed my shoulder. Tightly.
I nodded.
Mack pulled me in for a hug, his voice low at my ear. “Call me. I’m on standby. Let’s take this fucker down.”
Bastard already had me on my knees.
There wouldn’t be any standing.
Only standing I could do was for Grace.
I walked out and headed for the door.
I froze when I heard the soft voice hit me from behind. “Ian.”
Slowly, I turned, not really wanting to see the pity that would be written all over Faith. The woman was too kind for me to handle.
Not when the only thing I wanted right then was blood on my hands.
To get dirty.
Depraved and wicked.
The way I’d always known myself to be.
Her lips twisted into a sad smile. “Here. I found this in the kitchen. Thomas left it.”
Didn’t think it was possible, but the spec that was my blackened heart sank to the pit of my stomach.
Chest a fist of heartache.
Thomas’s tablet.
I reached out and took it, trying to keep my damned hand from shaking. “Thank you.”
She looked to the ground, tentative when she peeked back up at me. “I’m so sorry, Ian. I saw you with Grace. With her children. There’s nothing more terrifying than the people we love most being in danger.”
I wanted to refute it.
Tell her there was no love lost.
Didn’t have it in me to tell a lie that big.
I just opened the door and stepped out onto the porch.
Cold air blew in low. A shiver raced my skin, but it didn’t have a fucking thing to do with the wind.
I started for my car, only to stop halfway down the porch steps when Faith called out again from the doorway. “They’re worth it, Ian. I know your life hasn’t always been easy, and I won’t pretend to have a clue what you’ve been through. But what I do know is you’ve had to fight to survive. That it never made sense to let your heart go when there was never anyone there who you could trust to hold it.”
My spine stiffened, and I locked my muscles, refusing to look her way.
“This place is made of magic and dreams. I have never stopped believing that. Not once in my life. Yours are here, too. I felt it, between the two of you. How real you are. That you both are fighting for the chance to live again. You will, Ian. You’ll live again. That life is right there, waiting to break free, to take its rightful place.”
My head swiveled in her direction, and there was no anger in my voice, only pain. “I think we both know it’s too late for that.”