I eased into the unrest that spun through the room.
Slowly.
Like if I gave her enough warning, she wouldn’t startle. Or maybe it would offer me a little more time in her presence before this all came to an end.
All that intensity rippled back, and her spine tensed in awareness. Our bodies recognizing the other.
“I told you I’m not a good guy,” I finally forced out, voice nothing but grit.
The sob she was trying to contain finally made a break for it. She hugged herself tighter, looking out over the beauty of the yard like if she wished hard enough, she might get swept away.
Disappear.
She’d wake up and all of this would be a bad dream.
Problem was, I knew that was exactly what I was.
I took another step deeper into the room. Wisps and shadows stroked and whipped across the floor, a moon dance colored on the wall.
“I did go to that strip club that night. It’s where men like me belong, Grace. Where our sick hearts and our depraved spirits feel most at home.”
Another step closer.
Swore I could feel her spirit tremble.
“But I didn’t fuck her. I wouldn’t.” The last cracked. Like just the word split me open.
This girl was the only one who’d ever managed to get inside me.
Her head shook. “You don’t owe me anything.”
It was a brush off.
Chains and armor to shut me out.
I was behind her in a flash, our bodies separated by a mere inch, that tiny sliver charged.
A live wire ready to burst.
“Bullshit,” I hissed. “I owe you everything.”
Goose bumps prickled across her flesh, and she slowly spun around to face me, stirring the air up more.
Sadness streaked across that face. There was nothing I could do but reach out and hold it, pray I could somehow erase the hurt.
My thumb stroked across her cheek. “I’ve never lied to you, Grace, and I’m not going to start now. I went to that club thinking I might be able to outrun what you’d made me feel the night before. What you’d made me feel when you’d come into my office. As a reminder of who I was, and where I belonged. But I promise you, that picture? However the fuck Reed got ahold of it? It’s a lie. I was pushing her off my lap. Nothing more. I’ve never paid for a woman, not once, and I never will.”
A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and landed in the web of my hand.
Grace’s mouth trembled. “I hate all of this, Ian. I hate that Reed has this control. That I’m living in fear constantly, waiting for the other shoe to drop. But maybe what scares me most is how badly it hurts to see you with someone else. After you’d touched me. I . . . why does the thought of you touching someone else destroy me?”
My thumb traced the angle of her cheek.
God, why did she have to be so pretty?
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I don’t want to hurt you. It’s the last thing I want to do.”
Soft sorrow moved across her face. “I’m the one who dumped my mess at your door. I’m the one who didn’t listen when you told me not to fall. I’m the one who wants all the things you promised you could never give me.”
The rawest vulnerability took hold of her expression. “It’s me who wants more.”
More.
The idea of it shivered beneath the surface of my skin.
So intense.
Overwhelming.
“I want to. I want to so goddamned bad that it physically hurts, Grace. It’s killing me, wishing I could be the kind of man who could hold you. Protect you.”
I gulped down my reservations. Or maybe it was just the girl who’d scaled right over the top of the hundred-foot wall surrounding my heart. Toppling it. Nothing but rubble at her feet.
I grabbed her hand and splayed it across the erratic drumming of my chest.
“Do you feel that, Grace? It doesn’t fucking beat right, but still, it beats for you.”
Those eyes blinked up at me in the softest kind of affection. She splayed her hand out wider, eyes tracing over my face when she whispered, “I feel it, Ian. The way it beats. Can you feel the way it beats perfectly with mine?”
And I knew I was lost.
Gone.
Completely gone to this girl.
I dropped my forehead to hers, breathing in her sweet heat, her aura.
Memories flashed.
So bright.
All the reasons I’d sworn to myself that I’d never allow my heart to love.
That it was never worth the risk.
And still, with her there, so close to me, her sweet spirit whispering to mine, my mouth was moving a breath from hers.
“Kisses are forever, and only for the ones you love most.”
I swore, she fell into the words.
Became one with them.
The surprised breath coming from her both hard and soft and covering me whole.