“Uh, wait a minute,” Elise says, stuttering a bit at the end. “You had phone sex and now he’s coming over? Have you ever met him face-to-face?”
I hear the tone change in her voice, and I know she’s worried about something. “No, is that weird? You know I have no idea what I’m doing here. I’ve barely dated, just one semi-long relationship after another. And I certainly never had phone sex before. Is it not common for him to come over afterward?”
Elise sighs, but like the supportive friend she is, she gives the truth as she sees it. “Uhm, honey, that’s definitely not the norm. Usually, it’s just an awkward bye after you’re both done with business. But if it was that good, and you like him, hell, this could be a good thing.”
I set my hairbrush down, picking up my toothbrush and stopping just as the drop of green gel is a fraction of an inch about the bristles, listening. “A good thing?”
Elise chuckles, but it’s not derisive. “Yes, a good thing. You need this, Kat. It’s not serious, you’re not jumping into some fairytale here. But some wallbanging sex with a hot man to get over the last douchcanoe is just what you need. Oh, wait. He is hot, right?”
I feel something icky on my thumb and realize my drop of toothpaste has become a veritable splooge of minty freshness, and I quickly put the tube aside, flicking the majority of the junk into the sink. “He is so fucking hot, Elise. I couldn’t have programmed a hotter man.”
“Now I’m jelly,” Elise replies with a chuckle. “Not too jelly, but jelly.”
“I was nervous he wouldn’t like me after he saw me.”
“Honey, I’m not gonna listen to a word of that,” Elise growls as I start to brush my teeth quickly. “You’re a fucking gorgeous woman, not some twiggy pre-pubescent little girl. And any man worth your time will not just accept your curves, but he will drool for them with appreciation.”
I laugh, feeling a little better, and spit into the sink before answering. “So you think this is okay? I’m not being stupid?”
“Yeah, babe. You’re good. Just don’t get too tangled up,” Elise advises. “Use this for what it is . . . some hot sex to rebound, a nice casual hookup. Not some Disney shit where he’s going to sweep you off your feet.”
I know what she’s saying, but she doesn’t have to worry. “You know I don’t believe in that fairytale crap anyway. The last thing I need is some guy playing me for a fool again. I think I’ve finally learned my lesson.”
I hang up with Elise, feeling more confident in the whole thing but nervous because I’m about to have sex for real for the first time in months, and I don’t exactly have a good track record with guys satisfying me.
I look at myself in the mirror, hoping I’m not playing myself. I’m hoping Derrick will be different because somehow, this feels different. I may not believe in getting swept off my feet romantically, but something tells me Derrick might be able to knock my socks off.
Well, if I were wearing socks.
The knock on the door comes almost too quickly. I barely feel like I’ve finished rinsing my sink out. Padding in my bare feet to the door, I take a big breath, still deciding whether I’m going to go through with this. Maybe I just don’t answer and I’ll never have to face the reality of this.
But I know I’ll fucking regret that for the rest of my life. I’ll never know just how good Derrick can make me feel. There’s this nagging feeling inside me that for the first time in my life, I’ve got a chance to meet a man who will satisfy my every carnal desire, to take my body places that I’ve never imagined it could go.
Forget the humor and sweet conversations we’ve had that make my spirit lighter and my heart clench in my chest. Forget the fact that every time I talk with him, I’m left smiling for hours or that even a short text from him can bring a little twitch to my lips. I focus on the need deep in my core and make my decision.
Just sex. That’s all we’re doing and all I need. If we can be friendly too . . . that’s great. I can’t expect more as I stand here naked, not getting dressed like he instructed, and I open the door to find Derrick standing there, his breath coming in fast pants and his eyes bright with lust.
He presses a hand to either side of the door frame, not coming in yet, but if I wanted to leave, I’d have to go through him to do so.
“I thought you weren’t going to answer for a second. Are you not as sure about this as I am?” He seems like he’s on the edge of control, ready to burst into my apartment and take me. It’s a heady sight to see him so close to the edge . . . over me.