I took copious amounts of time to clean myself up. I used half a roll of toilet paper to clean myself below the waist before I tackled the upper half. I managed to get most of the epically failed smear and waterproof mascara off my face despite my continued tears.
Only small smudges remained just beneath my eyelashes. I used fresh eyeliner and hoped that in the darkened club, no one would see the evidence of my shame. I tried to cover up the hickey as best I could. As I shoved it all back into the Prada purse Kalen gave me, I let out a half-laugh and half-sob.
Finally, I straightened my clothes to stare at myself in the mirror.
He’d made his point. I’d played with fire and lost. Chin up, I decided I would walk out of that room with my head held high. I’d leave tomorrow to go to D.C. and never see him again. His offer of a fuck buddy, joke or not, would never work. I loved him too much for that.
When I finally left the tiny room, I had to get out of the club and as far away from the man who held my heart as possible. Before I could achieve those ends, Griffin found me.
Thirty
What the fuck was I doing here? It wasn’t the first time I’d asked myself that. Sure, Griffin had a security detail watching her. They were paid very well to keep her safe. But could they keep her safe from me?
Apparently not, because I’d seen red while she danced like the first time I’d claimed her. Was I jealous? Maybe, considering I’d been a chained animal waiting to be cut loose.
I’d also hated what I made her become. Her lovely red hair was all black because of me.
Repressed anger had nearly tipped over the edge when I saw her shake her ass all over that bawbag. And when I spotted the asshole put something into her drink, I’d lost it.
Lost her when I’d screwed her like a porn star in the fucking VIP bathroom.
I’d taken care of the little shite with efficiency. Then, without thought, I’d given her what she’d wanted, what I needed. My mind lost in her, I hadn’t taken the time to protect us and I’d spilled my seed into her.
I could have gotten her pregnant. She was on the pill, but that wasn’t foolproof.
It would be a long time before she forgave me. I paced while I rubbed at my aching temples at that thought. What the fuck had I been thinking? Wasn’t that the point? I hadn’t.
I stupidly offered to be Bailey’s fuck buddy? That was never going to happen. You couldn’t just fuck the girl you loved. The best thing we could do for each other was to steer clear of one another. The proof of that was in the irrational urge I had to drive to annihilate any man who got close to her.
There I was ready to do the right thing. I lifted my hand and knocked. It took a few minutes before the hotel room door opened.
Bailey. I drank in the sight of her.
Rage pushed her forward to beat at my chest. The light that normally filled her face was all but gone.
When our eyes locked, it was like there was equity in the world. I wanted to deny that she was the oasis in my heart, but that would be a lie.
It helped that she held a homicidal glare on me. That put a little perspective on things.
Our opportunity for togetherness had died when she’d chosen Turner. If I wasn’t so fucked up over it, I could admit I understood her choice.
I caught her hands this time tenderly. She blinked like she could read my thoughts.
All potential threads of possibilities of how this could go fled when she redoubled her efforts like a lioness ready to pounce. I’d take my licks, then walk away and never look back.
“You bastard,” she shouted, snatching her hand away to land a harsh blow across my cheek.
“I deserve that.”
“Why are you here?” she cried. Tears burst forth and they weren’t conjured to pull at my sympathy, yet I fell prey to them.
“Don’t cry,” I commanded softly. My thumb snuck out and brushed the wetness away from the right side of her face.
She shook before she swayed in anger. “I don’t feel well.”
She moved fast into the bathroom only a few steps from the door. I followed, grabbing her hair as it slid over her shoulder while she gripped the side of the toilet as if she feared falling in.
When she was done puking her guts out, she swayed some more but pushed me away as she went to rinse out her mouth in the sink. She turned to me as if she had more to say, but her next words never came.