“The game had started when it happened. He wouldn’t have made it from New York to Dallas in time anyway.”
I was home alone watching my secret boyfriend play when the horrible cramps began. As he was working his magic, I was losing our baby. The blood came and there had been no one to drive me to the hospital. I’d been alone until Jillian showed up.
That day was also the day I realized that unless I wanted to move to New York away from family and friends, our relationship would never work.
A tear spilled down my eye.
“Did you ever tell him?”
I nodded. “I did. But I also told him it could never work between us.”
There had been a huge fight. He wanted to come and I told him I needed space. I’d pushed him away to protect him and me. He needed to stay in New York and live out his dream. He was scheduled to have a Thursday night game after that Sunday. He would have never been able to come out without the world finding out why. He was a star.
I’d needed time to get over the loss of our child without the world finding out. I also needed to get over him. Having him come would have broken my resolve and exposed our loss to strangers.
“Jesus, Chris. Do you love him?”
It was a question I’d asked myself a million times and always come up with the same answer.
“Yes.”
Pretending I hadn’t had been an Oscar winning performance on my part.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
I faced my sister as she had secrets too. “Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt?”
A ghost of pain crossed her face. “Yes.”
“But you knew that you loved that person so much you could let them go?”
She dipped her head and I realized that I wasn’t the only one with hidden pain. I hugged her and we both cried a little.
There was something I hated but needed to do. I had a little more vacation time built up.
“I can’t stay here. He’ll only find me and I haven’t found myself,” I said.
Jillian let me go and gave me a stern look.
“I’m going to forgive you for not telling me,” she said.
“Because you haven’t told me something either?” I tossed back at her.
“Everyone’s entitled to one secret,” she said.
I went back in for another hug and held onto her for a moment longer.
When we separated, she added, “I’m going to tell you something you may not want to hear.” She waited a beat. “That man loves you. I saw it from the firm set of his jaw to the stiffness in his shoulders. If a man loved me that hard and chased me to the moon and back, I would let him catch me.”
I didn’t bristle because I read through the lines. “Is that from experience, little sister?”
It was a teasing jab and I sniffled a little.
“It’s the truth,” she said.
My phone rang before I could ask.
Eddie.
He’d mostly likely heard the news by now.
I answered and held the phone a few inches from my ear as he yelled.
“…You married my brother. How many times have I warned you he’d chew you up and spit you out? And you promised me.”
“Eddie,” I tried and failed to cut in.
He was so wrong about Cam. If anyone had broken someone’s heart, it had been me.
In my head, I heard Cam ask me Are you going to run again?
“Eddie,” I yelled back. “I love him.”
He cursed but then there was blessed silence for a beat. “He’ll only hurt you.”
“No, I hurt him,” I admitted.
My tears began to run in earnest.
Jillian was there with magic tissues because I had no idea where they’d appeared from. She took the phone from my hand.
“Eddie.”
He didn’t bark at her as I didn’t hear his response.
“How’s the honeymoon?” she asked with a smirk as I wiped my eyes.
She pointed me toward my bedroom and mouthed, I’ve got this.
As I trudged down the short hall to my bedroom, I heard bits of the conversation.
“Uh huh. Yeah.” Pause. “She’s a little busy right now. And frankly it’s really none of your business.” Just as I closed my door, I thought I heard her ask. “Yeah. Does your wife know this is your second wedding in Vegas?”
She was only egging Eddie on right? My sister and Eddie fought like it was Armageddon when they were near each other. No way was Cam right. Eddie and my sister didn’t hook up. He wouldn’t be getting on my case about breaking the pact if he had, right? I dismissed the thought because it was ludicrous and flopped on my bed. The call I had to make to my boss was not going to go over well.
Chapter 10
The sky had only brightened to a navy blue when my eyes popped open. I’d fallen asleep dressed and found that Jillian had plugged in my phone to charge. Bless little sisters.