“Nope. I think I became a woman last night.”
Carly snorts. “You’ve had sex before.”
Laurel shakes her head, grabbing some popcorn. “I’m not sure I have anymore. I think now I have to go back and retroactively void all sexual interactions that happened prior to last night. I’ve been doing sex wrong. Or, the guys have. I don’t know, but someone somewhere has dropped the ball in all my previous sexual encounters. I thought I was having average sex, but I have doubts now. Maybe I was having bad sex.”
“Definitely, definitely do not want to hear any of this,” I say again.
They both ignore me. “What do you mean, bad?” Carly asks. “Like, unskilled?”
“Like, I thought my body was just weird and that’s why the lazy assholes almost never gave me an orgasm. Turns out, I can have three in a single sexual encounter.”
I grimace, standing and walking away. “This is my room. Why do I have to hear this?”
“So yeah, I have a new standard,” Laurel announces. “If you can’t figure out how to give me at least one orgasm, no more sex for you, you lazy fucking asshole.”
Carly uncaps her water, grinning. “Wow. I didn’t realize you had such shitty sex before. Maybe I’m slightly less mad at Lex.”
“What does Lex have to do with any of this?” Laurel questions.
“It’s my nickname for Vince’s cousin, Mateo. The one you met last night. He’s all diabolical and shit. He brought Rafe here early and sent him after you just to be an asshole.”
“Well, tell him I said thank you and I owe him a pan of brookies.”
“I don’t have to, he has cameras.” Carly raises her voice. “My sister says thank you for being a horrible human being.”
“What?” Laurel looks around, trying to find security cameras. “No, he does not. Are you serious?”
“He’s a weirdo,” I inform her. “He wouldn’t like your brookies, either. He doesn’t like sweets.”
Turning wide eyes on me, she’s like, “I have so many questions. Is this the polygamist? I only met one wife at dinner. Can I go ask him questions?”
“You stay far away from him,” Carly states, before I can. “I made the mistake of getting curious and last night happened.”
“Well, if I get good sex every time you get curious, you have my permission to be as curious as you want,” Laurel states.
“How was he this morning?” Carly asks, still looking for reasons to disapprove of this situation.
“Hospitable. Friendly. I think he’s well-versed at one-night-stand etiquette so he wasn’t exactly stumbling his way through it.”
“Mia said you’d be a happy customer. I’m glad she was right. I was worried about it.”
Laurel’s eyebrows rise. “Mateo’s wife, Mia? The gorgeous blonde at the dinner table?”
Carly nods. “Also Vince’s ex, Mia.”
“She banged Vince and Rafe before Mateo? Does she have a Morelli sexual bingo card she’s trying to fill up or something?”
“Nope, wasn’t before Mateo. Vince said she didn’t meet Rafe until a year ago and she was with him then. I definitely got intimacy vibes between them, though. Mateo’s too perceptive not to notice and he didn’t seem surprised or have an issue with it, so I bet they double teamed her. Unless he’s into cucking.” She pauses, tapping her chin in consideration. “No, I don’t think that’s it. He’s too dominant to want to be humiliated. I think they fucked her together.”
“What?” I demand, walking back over.
“Oh, sorry, baby. Cover your ears, we’re talking girl talk.”
This is girl talk? “Why would you think they…?”
Carly raises her eyebrows like I’m dense. “Because of their vibes. Plus, your cousin’s rich, and rich men always have some kind of kink. The bedroom cameras make me think he might have a strain of voyeurism in there, too.” She looks back at Laurel. “So, tell me about the size? Shape? Oddities? Skill level is obviously adequate.”
“No.” I scowl down at Carly. “I don’t want to hear any of this.”
“Come to think of it, maybe they’re just swingers,” Carly states. “They do make jokes about Adrian being her second husband.”
Since my evil girlfriend won’t stop giving me mental images of men I despise fucking the girl I loved, I go to take a shower and get away from her version of girl talk. Jesus Christ, I thought girl talk involved discussing shoes.
After my shower, I decide to slip out. Cherie is supposed to be coming over today, so I drop by the servants’ quarters to see if she’s around yet. She’s not, but a little blonde girl sits on the couch , reading a book to the little boy in her lap.
I cock my head in question as she looks up at me. “Hey, Vince.”
“Hey Lily. That’s not Roman.”
Lily shakes her head. “I’m babysitting West while Mia and his mom coordinate about Easter. They’re upstairs if you wanted to see them.”