“Well, I’ve already told you how I feel about this. I don’t think he’s looking for you. I think he could’ve already found you. It’s been months.”
“You think I’m being paranoid.”
“No,” she says, carefully. “Not paranoid. Paranoia is unwarranted, perceiving a threat where there is none; your caution is entirely warranted. You did something to provoke a man you know to be dangerous, and that’s… well, it warrants watching over your shoulder. I just think maybe your cousin has given you a pass that he’s not announcing. Maybe because of Mia, like you said before. She didn’t want you to die, so maybe he’s trying to respect her wishes. Maybe he’s hoping you’ll find someone else and move on with your life—and maybe if you do, he’ll let that happen. Then you won’t have to check your closets for the boogeyman every night.”
“I think that’s optimistic. Mateo isn’t nice. He doesn’t care about my happiness.”
“But he cares about Mia’s,” she states. “Maybe he cares about her happiness more than getting back at you. Maybe as long as you’re not a threat, he’ll leave you alone.”
“Yeah, but he wouldn’t even know that. If he finds me—”
“If he hasn’t already found you,” Carly interjects.
I roll my eyes. “You don’t get it. He already had me watched until he thought I moved on. Say you’re right and he found me, say he’s got someone out there watching us right now to see what happens. He won’t say, ‘oh, Vince is in a relationship, now I have nothing to worry about,’ because he already did that once. You’re not the first girl I’ve dated since Mia. I dated and had girlfriends when he let me out before. I still went back for her. It’s a matter of simple fucking logistics at this point. He can’t keep someone on me forever. He can’t literally employ a pro whose only job is watching me for the rest of his life—and that’s what he would have to do, because he already tried trusting me to stay away. He won’t make that mistake again. I am too much trouble to leave alive at this point, and Mateo knows that. It isn’t even all about getting back at me; it’s about eliminating a threat and keeping his family safe. He has to kill me or fall asleep every night wondering if I’m out here plotting a return. The only way he knows Mia’s safe is if he kills the people who threaten her safety. I know him; you don’t. Just believe me on this. He offered peace and I threw it away. His next move is to eliminate me. It’s what he should have done in the first place. He already tried an alternate method for Mia; I fucked that one up.”
“Okay, but this is all predicated on the foundational idea that you’re a threat to Mia. If you’re not anymore, he can leave you alive with little to no risk.”
This girl is not getting it. I shake my head, not wanting to spend the whole damn night talking about this shit. “Let’s just drop it. You don’t understand how Mateo’s mind works. People who haven’t experienced Mateo don’t get it, but trust me, I know him. I grew up with him. I’ve watched how he operates. I worked for him, for fuck’s sake—I know his methods.”
Since our hands are still entwined she gives it a little squeeze, then looks up at me with that sultry little smile of hers. “Okay, okay. I wasn’t trying to rile you up.”
“I am not riled up.”
“You seem a little riled.”
I give her a dry look. “Is this how you drop a topic?”
“Nope, this is how I drop a topic.” She pauses, then in a lighter tone asks, “So, what did you think of Laurel? I think she really likes you.”
“Laurel’s cool,” I say, nodding. “You’re different around her.”
“Bad different?” she inquires.
“No, not bad different. I like all the different sides of you I’ve seen so far.”
“Good,” she says, releasing my hand and trailing her hand across my abdomen. “I like all the sides of you I’ve seen so far, too.”
“Even my crazy side?” I ask, wryly.
“Oh, especially your crazy side. How’d you like my mouthy side?” she asks, smiling up at me curiously.
“I think there are better things to do with your mouth than run it at me.”
Carly laughs, sinking into my side. “Oh yeah? You mean like licking… candy canes? Or wrapping my lips around something stiff and sucking up all the white, creamy… milkshake?”
I grin. “You’re the worst tease I’ve ever met.”
“Psh, I’m the best tease you’ve ever met. I teased your ass into a relationship and you haven’t even fucked me yet.”
I can’t believe she called me out on it, but my eyes widen and I look down at her. “I know, that surprised me, too. I’ve never had a girlfriend I haven’t fucked before. Fucked plenty of girls who weren’t girlfriends, but I think we’re approaching the situation ass-backwards this time.”