Well, now I’m depressed.
Since I’m already thinking of sad things, my mind drifts to the human I just brought into the world today. I barely spent any time with him. When I was sure I was dying, prior to the cell phone lifeline, I had sort of made up my mind that I shouldn’t try to. Mia was the one he needed to bond with—as long as Mia loves him, Mateo will.
But now I’m not sure. I’m supposed to survive this now. Rafe still hasn’t told me when things are going down though, and it’s becoming more and more urgent. The baby is out of me. Mateo could murder my ass as soon as tomorrow, and though Rafe says he wants me on to help ease the transition, I’m ultimately inessential.
I know we can’t talk openly here, but I roll over to peek at Rafe, debating how I can bring it up without being obvious. He’s lying on his side, that damn muscular back to me. I can see the glow of his phone. I can’t resist the urge to peek over his massive shoulder and see who he’s talking to.
He doesn’t give me a chance to see anything, though. As soon as he hears me turn over, he cuts off the glow of his phone and replaces it on the bedside stand.
“Who are ya texting?” I ask, with awkward lightness.
“No one you know,” he answers dryly.
“Probably some showgirl in Vegas,” I decide. “Do you know a lot of showgirls? I’ve never been to Vegas. Always thought it would be cool to go.”
“Well, I’d say come see us sometime, but, you know.”
“Right. Short life expectancy.” When he nods, I go on. “You know how prisoners at least get a last meal? Like, a good one—steak, lobster, a whole birthday cake, whatever tickles their fancy. Do you think I’ll get a last dinner?”
“Highly doubtful,” Rafe answers. “He made you give birth without so much as a Tylenol; I wouldn’t hold out hope for an ice cream cake.”
“That’s lame. Can you at least bring me another one of those cookies?”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Much appreciated.” I glance over at him again, seeking something real. “When are you supposed to head back to Vegas?”
“Soon.”
That’s it? Soon? That’s not helpful. He could at least try to communicate with me, here. “Well, all your clothes are still in the drawers, so not that soon, I guess. Are you getting everything together, or are you a last minute packer?”
Rafe cuts me a look of warning, his dark eyes flashing with annoyance. “Not worried about packing,” he answers, a bit shortly. “Just enjoying what’s left of my time here. I was visiting with your daughter today.”
“My daughter? Which one?”
“The small one. The tiny tyrant.”
“Ah, Rosalie.”
He nods. “That one. Got to meet the nanny. She seems nice. Quiet, but dedicated to the kids.”
I take that as code that he’s decided to keep Ju. It’s the kind of sneaky double talk I wanted, but now that it’s happening, it stresses me out.
“She met the baby,” he adds. “Hauled me to Mia and Mateo’s room to visit him.”
“Rosalie met Roman? How’d she like him?”
“She got bored after about two minutes. He wouldn’t play with her and she didn’t realize he wouldn’t be able to talk. Overall, I don’t think it’s going to be a favorable review.”
“Two stars. Send him back to the baby factory.”
Rafe cracks a smile. “More or less.”
“Do you like kids?” I ask.
His eyebrows rise, traces of alarm on his face, telling me I’m not the first woman to ask him this. “Me? No. I mean, yeah, kids are… I don’t want any. I may have to procreate once, someday, but I like my life the way it is. Kids are restrictive.”
I roll my eyes. “Not really. I mean, sure, for normal people they are. When I got pregnant with Lily, it definitely changed my life in an irrevocable way, but you assholes with enough money for nannies and maids and shit, not so much. Hire someone to help out and you can still do your thing. Look at Mateo. He has 85 kids and he still does whatever the hell he wants.”
“I don’t want to talk about kids.”
I smile at him. “Am I making you itchy? This is how you make me feel when you try to make me crack open my soul to get your dick hard.”
“You are a lewd woman,” he states.
“Thank you.”
“Thank God that didn’t happen.”
I nod my head. “It would probably make this little ‘dead woman walking’ sleepover super awkward.”
“Should’ve known better than to try sampling both of Mateo’s women.”
“True enough.” The reminder of his attraction to Mia brings my mind back to this plan he has to make her his pet. “Mia’s been through a lot. Not saying you’re a thing she went through, but… kinda. She loves Mateo more than anything, so she felt really guilty after Vegas.”