“This is paper. You can print old pictures, you can show me anyone’s lease and say it’s his. This isn’t proof of anything.”
Sighing, he grabs the phone. “Well, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to do this. You can’t say anything to him, he can’t know you’re calling; he’s stayed away this long and I don’t want to tempt the little prick. Please don’t say anything, but you’ll hear his voice.”
Now my heart starts to pound. This is more like proof. Mateo dials the number and hands me the phone.
A little shaky, I put the phone to my ear. It rings once, twice, three times. I brace myself for disappointment, for this to be a trick—oh, he didn’t answer the phone? Weird, we’ll have to try another time.
And then I hear Vince’s voice. “Hello?”
I crumble. It’s hard to keep from crying out, but I clutch my hand over my mouth to stifle the sob that tries to escape, squeezing my eyes shut.
Oh my god, it’s Vince. That’s Vince’s voice.
Shock and relief pour through me in equal measures.
Now he’s annoyed. “Hello?” he says, a little more aggressively.
New tears leak out of my eyes, but Mateo carefully takes the phone out of my hand, ending the call and flipping the phone shut.
“You manipulative bastard,” I say between sobs, but they’re happy sobs. They’re happy sobs. I’m so goddamn happy right now, I could burst. Vince is alive. I didn’t kill him.
Mateo watches me warily, like he’s not sure what to expect now. “I just… I wanted to test you. I know it was brutal, but it seemed like two birds with one stone. I thought you would’ve had to mourn your relationship anyway, and I wouldn’t have many chances to test you like that—it all made sense on paper. I had it all worked out. Test one concern, resolve another. Vince is gone. He might as well be dead, for the purposes of this family. But he’s not; I just gave him the one thing he wanted more than you. Vince never wanted to be in this life. He always wanted out, I just wouldn’t let him. When all this happened, I decided I had to. It was the only way I could keep you. He would’ve been a problem if he stayed, but I was worried you really wouldn’t forgive me if I actually killed him. I wanted you to, but… I wasn’t willing to take that big of a risk. So I kept you, and let him go.”
I don’t know what to feel. So many different emotions tear through me—relief and anger, confusion and joy. I’m so overwhelmed, and the most horrible thing is the familiarity of this feeling. I’ve been here before with him.
He set me up. Again. He played me. Again. There wasn’t even an end date on this game, because he never intended to tell me the truth.
“You put me through all of this for nothing,” I state.
“No, it wasn’t for nothing,” he disagrees. “I had my reasons.”
“You always have reasons,” I say, faintly. “But they’re not normal.”
Cocking his head slightly as if to acknowledge that, he says, “Well, no. But I’m not normal.”
A wave of protectiveness moves over me—inexplicably, since no one is attacking him, he’s just talking about himself. Still, I feel the urge to protect him, even after he put me through all this shit.
I shake my head at myself, turning my gaze back to this gorgeous, manipulative mess of a man. “You were never going to tell me? You were going to let me believe Vince was dead because of me?”
He hesitates to answer that one, and I know it’s because yes, that was the plan.
I shake my head, not even making him answer it. “You’re emotionally exhausting, you know that?”
Nodding, he says, “I do know that. I don’t know how to be any other way.”
“When are you ever going to stop testing me? When will you start trusting me instead? You don’t do this shit to Meg.”
In his defense, he doesn’t look pleased with himself. “It’s not the same with Meg. I already know the answer with her, no further testing required. You’re different. You offer me everything, so there’s much more to lose. It’s difficult for me trust people. There’s something about you that… it just feels different. But I’m hard on people, and I had to know, even if I did something you couldn’t accept, you would still love me. I trusted that without testing it once before, and I was wrong. The woman I invested everything in withdrew from me and there was nothing I could do to bring her back.”
“Beth?”
He nods wordlessly, letting that sink in.
I remind him most of the partner he murdered.
I need to learn more about Beth. I need him to tell me about Beth, so I can understand why she has him so convinced he needs to keep doing shit like this to me. I want to see every scar that’s been inflicted upon this complicated man. I want to understand every experience that’s made him this way, and I want to heal his every hurt.