“Anyway,” I say, so she doesn’t remark further, “I guess we should turn our attention back to Cary Elwes.”
This effectively aggravates her and she rolls her eyes at me. “He’s not Cary Elwes. He’s Dread Pirate Roberts—or at the very least, Westley. Don’t ruin it.”
“I just don’t love this movie as much as you do. It’s never going to happen. Just accept it.”
“I will never accept that,” she swears, as if declaring her fealty. “Never ever. In fact, just for that, I think we should name our son Westley.”
My heart slides out of my chest cavity, right through my stomach. “Oh, good, we’re talking about kids again.”
Elise grins at me, her hand drifting over to caress my thigh. “Relax, I didn’t mean tonight. But I want Westley on the record as my boy pick.”
“I… won’t fight you on that, actually. I like that name.” It makes me feel a little ill that we’re already naming our unborn kids, particularly given the climate of everything else in my life right now. My sort-of best friend might try to kill me. We might lose a gang war, anyway, and he won’t even have to. I still haven’t found Francesca. Everything related to the business-side of my life right now sucks. And as much as I think about Elise on a daily basis, I don’t think there’s even room in my heart for someone else—let alone two someones. It’s not a very big space. She should understand that.
“Candace and Westley Palmetto,” she says happily, tilting her head back to look up at me. “I love them already.”
“Do you ever wish you would’ve been able to choose for yourself?”
“Choose what?”
“Your… me. Your partner. The person you’d start a family with. You’ve obviously burrowed in and made lemonade like a pro, but isn’t there any part of you that wishes you could’ve picked someone out for yourself?”
She frowns at me a little, like she disapproves of my question. “No.”
“Why?”
“What good would that do me?” she asks, her scowl deepening. “Why would I look for reasons to be unhappy? We’re a good match. You’re wonderful to me. We’re happy together. Who cares if it was arranged?”
I shake my head, still mildly in wonder about the way her brain works. “We have very different ways of approaching life.”
Elise rolls her eyes indulgently, like she knows more about it than I do. “That’s why I’m happier than you are.”
On a whim, I ask, “What would you do, if you were me?”
“In regards to which crisis?” she asks, sitting up a little straighter and turning to face me.
“My Mateo situation. My way isn’t working. How would you handle it?”
Elise pauses for a moment to consider, her eyes drifting upward as she files through the information she has. “I think I’d just let him know I’m happy with what I have. I’d let him see it.”
Shaking my head slightly, I tell her, “I am doing that. But Mateo isn’t… He doesn’t stop once he gets what he wants. He always has to have more. I don’t know how to make him look at me and not think about what he would do. He could be happy with his circumstances and have everything he’s always wanted—he does, right now, as we speak—and do you think he stops and accepts that he’s content? No. He has to keep reaching for more.”
“That’s sad,” she says, her lips turned down. “Why keep reaching if there’s nothing missing?”
“There’s always something missing. No one has everything.”
“What could you have that you don’t? You already have status. You already have respect. You’ve gained everything you would have as a Morelli anyway, by working for him these last five years. What more could you want?”
“Money.”
“Well, he’s got lots of that,” she says, rolling her eyes. “He can’t possibly be worried about that. Presumably now that he’s done paying you in Elise, he has to start paying you in money, right?”
A short laugh escapes me at her phrasing, and she smiles, pleased with herself. “Yeah, he’ll start paying me actual money.”
She shrugs. “Then the only thing you have left to gain, you’ll gain without hurting him.” Sudden awareness transforms her face and she says, “That’s it. He needs to know you love him.”
I grimace.
She stands her ground. “No, listen. Mateo is not afraid you’ll overthrow him because you covet what he has—he knows you’re not like that. He’s afraid you’ll overthrow him because he thinks you don’t really like him. If you only owe him your loyalty because of his position… you just found out maybe he shouldn’t have his position. If you serve him because you care, because you love him and want to keep him safe, and want to keep him in power… then he has nothing to fear. He wouldn’t care if you were brothers if you acted like one, but you openly disdain him.”