I let myself believe he cared about me.
He never did. He cared about his business and what he could get out of people. He’d gotten a lot out of me. Plenty of work, new client acquisitions, and my body.
The hair had been a way for me to hit the reset button. It sort of worked. If I’d been fully successful, I wouldn’t have agreed to meet him tomorrow.
“Love the bangs,” Donna said.
“Thank you.” I helped myself to more chips, washed them down with sips of my mojito, and folded my arms on the table. “I ran into Jake on my way here.”
“Shut up. Did you guys talk?”
“He invited me out tomorrow for a platonic meal to explain himself and apologize.”
“And you’re going to hear him out?” she asked skeptically.
I shrugged.
Donna frowned. “What happened to all your talk last month? Fuck Jake Cassidy and his stupid face and his stupid abs. I never want to see him again. I believe those were your words, and I quote. I still have the text message, if you want to refresh your memory.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. “I know, I know, I should have told him no. But he was coming out of a counseling office. If he’s really taking steps to improve himself and move past his shit, I don’t want to be a wrench in the works. Apologizing and making amends is an important part of moving on. Maybe we can both get some closure and go our separate ways with a clear conscience. I’d much rather that than this shitty, muddy, icky feeling I get whenever I think about him.”
And that night we had in his office where he was inside me and his tongue was halfway down my throat and the whole world felt like it was thousands of miles away.
Donna leaned back in her chair, bringing her mojito with her. “To be fair, he has been better at work. He was a moody son of a bitch the first few days after you left, but then he turned things around and got back on track. Maybe that’s when the counseling started.”
I drummed my fingers on the table.
“Just do a me a favor, will you?” Donna gave me a sincere smile. “Do what’s best for you in the end, not what’s best for him. Closure or no closure.”
“I promise.”