“But there’s always going to be problems like that,” I pointed out. “Dancers have big egos. We have to. We have to think it’s for us to go out and perform because no one else can do it as well as we can.”
“I get that, and of course I feel like that too, but there’s a difference between that and tearing someone else down to make yourself feel big.”
“I agree.”
“The fact that all that negativity was allowed to fester bothers me.”
“I understand that. I do.”
“I want to spend my off-season with you and Lu, but the fact that Delon could allow Senan to just be how he was, and is still allowing Lincoln to run roughshod over him with thisSwan Lakedebacle, is truly disheartening.”
“You think the CBC should take the hit and cancel the ballet.”
“I do. Yes,” Maven said flatly, “I think it’s best.”
“They should fire Delon as well, then,” I told her. “It’s not easy to find a new creative director, but like you said, he allowed two people to come in and upset the balance of the entire company.”
“Exactly,” Maven said, breathing a sigh of relief and taking hold of my hand, which I squeezed gently. “I mean, Cel, it’s not so bad for people like you when work is total shit because you still have home to fall back on. Some of us only have our professional lives, our careers, but you have that balance because you have him,” she finished with a sigh.
It took me a second. “Who him?”
She squinted at me. “Eli.”
“Eli?”
“Yes,” she said slowly.
“Wait. You think I’m balanced?” Since when?
She looked at me oddly, seeming confused. “Of course. You have the work piece and love piece all figured out. You’re not like me or Lu, trying to juggle them. You’ve found your balance. You’re extremely lucky.”
“I look balanced to you?” I repeated. I couldn’t get over it. This had to be the biggest revelation of the day.
“Well, not right now,” she admitted, scowling at me. “But normally, yes. You have what we all want—a person in your life who is loving and attentive, who’s always there for you, and most of all, knows when to just listen.”
“You think he listens?”
“Are you drunk? How much did you and Lu have for breakfast?”
“I—”
“I’ve seen you pacing back and forth on my balcony, yelling about something, and your boyfriend is sitting there, taking it in, listening. And when you’re done, he gives you a hug and passes you a drink and—wait, is that it? Have I missed that you’re a high-functioning alcoholic all these years?” She seemed horrified, staring at me wide-eyed. “How are you so great if you’re wasted all the time?”
“I’m not an alcoholic!” I yelled at her, which did nothing for my argument.
She turned to Luna. “So you had to get him liquored up this morning?”
“I’m not an alcoholic!”
She was cackling that her teasing had worked, and then challenged me and Luna to a revolution contest. I counted until it was my turn to pirouette as well. We were all on the floor, in the splits, when Eli opened the door. It was funny because he came in, expecting to see us at eye level, and then looked down at the floor. Maven waved.
“If you three are done fooling around,” he said with a scowl, “I need you to come with me.”
“Uh-oh,” Maven teased me under her breath. “You’re in trouble.”
He led us to a room with lots of large monitors and other shiny pieces of fancy tech that made me think we were in a sci-fi movie.
“Ooooh,” Luna cooed, sounding like the little aliens fromToy Story.