CHAPTER23
TANNER
Ilooked up after reading Larisa’s email again.
Jeremiah arched a brow at me. “Whatever that is, it doesn’t look like good news. What happened, man?”
I tossed my phone down on his couch and groaned, covering my face with my hands as I let my head drop back. When I tried calling my mom this afternoon on my way back, Mrs. Michael had picked up her phone and told me they’d been talking but that she was resting now. So at least rushing back to try to see her today hadn’t been necessary.
Jeremiah had called me right after. We were supposed to be watching the game at his place, but Shawn and Bart weren’t even there yet and I wasn’t in the mood to pretend like my day hadn’t sucked.
From beginning to end, it had been a total disaster, except for those few hours in the middle when I’d been with her. Peeking out at my friend between my fingers, I sighed and jerked one of my hands in the general direction of my phone as I sat up again.
“I fucked up,” I admitted. “Do you remember the girl from the lake house?”
A confused crease appeared between his brows, but he nodded. “Sure. What about her?”
“I saw her again,” I said. “It turns out that she’s the interior designer Steph’s friend recommended.”
“What?” He chuckled. “Small world, right? What does that have to do with you fucking up?”
“Everything.” I groaned again and took a deep breath before I told him everything that went down earlier. When I was done with the replay that had made me feel even worse, I crossed my arms and scowled at nothing but thin air. “I can’t believe how quickly things went from good to bad. I wrecked any chance I had with her without even knowing it.”
“You fucked someone else when you wanted a real chance with her?” he asked, the hint of incredulity in his tone driving it home for me just how stupid I’d been. “No offense, but that’s the most counterproductive thing any guy has ever done.”
“You told me to get out there,” I said. “I mean, I know it’s not your fault or anything, but I took your advice and I got out there.”
He stared at me disbelievingly before he let out a bark of laughter. “The only reason I said that was because I didn’t know you’d actually met a girl you wanted a chance with. If I’d known that, I never would’ve suggested that you put yourself out there to meet someone who could be the one. Why would I, when you’d already potentially met her?”
“I didn’t think I’d ever see her again,” I said, but the excuse fell flat even to my own ears. “Actually, while that is true, what’s even more true is that I just didn’t think at all. For what it’s worth, I regretted it instantly.”
“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that,” he pointed out, completely unnecessarily. I was very well aware of what she knew—or thought she knew—about me right then. “It was a dick move, which isn’t like you. Why’d you do it?”
“I don’t know. I just really wanted to stop thinking about the one girl I couldn’t have. I thought…” I trailed off and shook my head. “It doesn’t matter what I thought. The point is that even though the connection I’ve felt with her since the first moment is still there, she doesn’t even want to work for me now. That email I was just reading was from her. Apparently, she can’t take me on as a client at this time.”
He regarded me silently for a beat, then cocked his head, leaned forward, and propped his elbows on his knees. “Do you really like this woman? The connection you mentioned, is it stronger than any you’ve ever felt before?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. There were many things I didn’t know right then, but that was the one thing I knew all the way to the deepest part of my being. “There’s just something about her, you know? We click. We fit. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s there.”
“You don’t need to describe it.” His gaze traveled to the hallway that led to his bedroom where Steph was reading some book. It was the last in the series she’d been busy with for some time now, and we were under strict instructions not to bother her until she was done. “Since she’s completely enthralled by some new book boyfriend right now, I can tell you straight up that you don’t need to describe it because I already know exactly what you’re talking about. No doubt she’d tease me about it endlessly if she heard me being so sappy, but that’s how I feel about her. We’re not an obvious match, but she’s the part of me that’s always been missing. So that click? That fit? I get it.”
“The difference is that you didn’t fuck it up.”
He stared at me, blinking a few times before he burst out laughing. “Really? I didn’t fuck it up? Do you not remember everything we went through in the early days before we made it to where we are now?”
“Sure, but she forgave you.”
“Have you even asked for forgiveness?” He held my gaze intently. “If you really like her and really feel that way about her, you shouldn’t just give up. This is a setback, but it doesn’t have to be the end unless you let it.”
“Did you not hear the part where I said she doesn’t even want to work for me anymore? I know how much she wanted to take the job and how many plans she already had for that house. It wouldn’t have been easy for her to turn it down. The fact that she did tells me everything I need to know about how she feels about me right now.”
“How she feels about you right now, yes. Frankly, you deserve for her to feel that way about you. If I’d found out, even way back at the beginning, that Steph had fucked some other guy, you can bet your ass I’d have been so pissed that I would have burned down the fucking city if I thought it would’ve made me feel better.”
“Gee, thanks. You’re such a good friend.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Think about it. What would you have done if it had been a guy she’d been with who’d interrupted you instead of a girl you’d slept with? Don’t even try to tell me that you wouldn’t have lost your shit.”
“I would have.” If the mere thought of it made me want to tear someone’s head off, then I supposed he’d made his point. “Can we get back to the part where this is just a setback? Because if anything, you’re making me realize that I have no fucking hope of getting her to give me another chance.”