CHAPTER12
LARISA
“You’re actually really good at this,” I said about an hour or so after we’d climbed onto the boat. “I thought there would be a lot more rocking involved, but this feels pretty safe.”
He grinned, standing behind the helm with one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting lightly on the throttle. Dark glasses covered his eyes, but I could imagine them being just about as blue as the clear beautiful sky right then.
Wearing only his swim trunks again, he looked happy and relaxed under the small awning centered above the helm of the boat. I didn’t know the proper nautical terms for anything, and I didn’t care enough to learn, but he seemed like he belonged out here on the water and could spend the rest of his life traversing the lake.
“Going fishing was my biggest treat as a kid,” he said. “Dad used to take me whenever he could afford it. We’d rent a boat for a day, or for a whole weekend when we could, and we’d spend every minute on the water until we had to return it. It was great.”
From everything he had said since we’d been out on the lake, I was starting to figure out that it sounded like he’d had a pretty normal upbringing. I didn’t want to be too nosy, but it seemed like he hadn’t grown up very well off. It was especially surprising since he’d mentioned before that he’d been friends with Jeremiah Williams for a long time, which had made me assume that they’d grown up in the same circles.
The more he talked, though, the more I was realizing that my assumption had been wrong. Again. That was happening a lot with him, but I’d also been assuming a lot more things about him than I did about other people.
It made me wonder about the things I’d assumed about other rich people in the past, and it also made me realize that I might just have some unresolved issues with people that had money. Issues that I clearly had to work on if I wanted to stop being annoyed by a certain portion of my clientele—and also if I wanted to stop judging people like Tanner, who had proven that last night had been a fluke and that he wasn’t an entitled asshole who was pissed at me for turning him down.
Yep. Definite introspection needed here.
“What about you?” he asked cautiously. “What was your favorite part of childhood?”
“The innocence,” I said without hesitation. “Being able to just live and enjoy the small things without being concerned about how much anything cost or what everyone’s background was. My biggest treat was when my mom had the day off and she took me to the park. We didn’t need anything fancy to enjoy our time there together. We just lay on the grass and watched the clouds.”
“Being a kid is definitely magical in that sense,” he agreed. “Every small thing is this amazing discovery. I’ve heard that when you become a parent, you kind of go back to that.”
“Do you want kids?” I asked.
He stared back at me from behind his dark glasses. “Do you?”
I shrugged. “Maybe someday. You?”
“Same. I’m still figuring out what to do with my life now, but once I have and things are more settled, I’d like to consider it.” A sudden grin spread his lips. “Provided I can find a woman who’d be willing to put up with me for long enough to mother them, that is.”
I laughed. “Touché.”
We lapsed into a comfortable silence for a while, both just looking out at the water and the houses dotting the shoreline beyond it. It was so peaceful out here, and we’d barely encountered any other vessels.
“We should probably start heading back soon,” he said eventually. “Now that you’ve gotten the hang of boating, should we open up the engines and see what this baby can do on our way in?”
My fingers tightened instinctively on the handles next to the part of the long seat I was on, but as I thought about how confident he’d been handling the boat so far, I nodded. “Sure, but come back for me if I go overboard.”
“What happened to every man and woman for themselves?” he teased.
“What happened to never leaving me behind?” I countered. “You should give me your dad’s number so I can let him know not to forgive you if you don’t come back for me.”
Some of the lightness on his features evaporated, and he shot a glance toward the sky. “Trust me, if I had the number for where he is now, I wouldn’t be here with you. I’d be on the phone with him and I’d keep him on the line for as long as I could.”
Tears sprang to the backs of my eyes unbidden. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry. I can’t seem to stop putting my foot in it with you, can I?”
“That’s okay. You didn’t know, so I don’t think this counts as putting your foot in it,” he said. “If you want my advice, though, call your own dad while you still can.”
I inhaled deeply, putting my hand to my heart. I shook my head as I stared at the trees in the distance, thinking about how much my dad would’ve enjoyed being here. “You know, I would have, but my dad’s in the same place as yours. Thirteen years this winter.”
“Fuck,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry. Maybe we should just stop talking. It’ll only be five years for me in August. I can’t imagine it being thirteen. Eight more years without him?”
Tanner shook his head. I knew what he meant. Since it had been much longer for me than it had been for him, I didn’t get as sad thinking about my dad as I used to anymore. Sensing that he needed help getting out of that loop where doing something they used to do together and talking about his dad at the same time was getting him caught up in memories and longing, I nodded at the throttle.
“Are we still going to see what this baby can do?” I asked. “How long do you think it’ll take us to get there at full speed?”