What’s wrong with me today? Why am I second-guessing and hesitating with everything?
Maybe it’s the house.
When I hear Keith moving something again, I take a deep breath and turn the knob.
40
KEITH
This morning, when I told the girls they should sort out their stuff, separate what to take and what to throw away, I didn’t realize the complexity of this simple task.
For the past ten minutes, I’ve been glancing around my bedroom.
How do I decide what to leave and what to take from this life to the new one?
After every couple of seconds, my eyes rivet to Melanie’s picture as she smiles at me.
How much time have I spent in this room watching that smile?
How many nights I hoped those lips would speak up and tell me that I’m not alone?
I look at the dust that has now settled on Melanie’s bedside. Her expired creams and lotions don’t look so lived-in today.
I’m holding a black trash bag, but for the love of God, I can’t seem to throw away her things. Even something as simple as her hair ties. After giving a final glance to her bedside, I walk into the closet.
Using the small key tucked in my wallet, I open the concealed safe behind my clothes. There’s Melanie’s wedding band, engagement ring, and our marriage certificate. I take everything out and place it on the bed. My finger runs back and forth over my lips and chin, I’m uncertain and undecided about what to do with these things, when the door to my room opens.
Clementine stands at the threshold. Her hesitant gaze meets mine and my heart thunders in my chest.
How will she react seeing this shrine I’ve made in memory of my dead wife?
Her gaze skids from me to the giant photograph of Melanie. There’s a brief moment of confusion before she takes a step back. Her hands tremble, trying to cover her mouth as a gasp leaves her.
Her terrified eyes catapult my heart out of my chest.
“That’s…Melanie?” Her words are barely audible.
“Clem, I know this looks bad.” I gingerly take a step in her direction. “Let me explain.”
Clementine’s eyes remain transfixed on the photograph of my dead wife.
“It’s like she’ll speak any minute now,” Clem murmurs.
Before I can get any words out, she shuffles on her feet and her entire body sways.
“Fuck!” I grab her at the last minute as her eyes close and she faints in my arms.
Fucking hell!
I gently place her on the bed before shaking her, trying to wake her up. My heart pounds as she still lies unconscious over my comforter. I grab the glass of water from the nightstand and sprinkle some drops on her face.
“Holy shit, Clem! Are you okay?”
Her wide, panicky gaze sweeps across my room. “That’s Melanie?” she repeats the question and I nod, my pulse still wild watching her face pale as she takes in my room. “Does Melanie have a sister, cousin…anyone?”
I shake my head. “No, Mel was an only child, and so were her parents.”
“But…how is this possible? That’s Em!”