“I worry, Clem. That’s what I do.” There’s no hiding the frustration in his voice. “I’ve lost life once. I can’t for a second time.”
The glass of water that I just picked up falls on the carpet, splashing water everywhere. “W-what are you saying?”
My question catches him by surprise. I can only hear his heavy breathing for a while, until he says, “I don’t know. But when you weren’t home the next morning, I… I felt I’d lost everything. I had this feeling when I found you tied to a chair in that warehouse, when I came back home after Melanie’s funeral, when I made my first breakfast for Merida.”
My mouth dries more and more with his every word.
“Don’t ignore me.” Hearing the pain in his voice, my grip on the phone tightens.
“I’m not ignoring you. I’m just protecting myself. You are so in love with…her,” I whisper. “This is not a complaint,” I rush, after hearing his gasp. “I’m so sorry for you and Merida. But I can’t compete with her.”
“You are competing with no one. You just be you. The girl who wakes up at five, looking for cinnamon lattes, who doesn’t know how to cook—”
I close my eyes, hearing his honey-sweet voice saying all the things I’ve always wanted to hear. But as much as my heart races at his words, I know it’ll only lead me to more heartbreak.
“You say this today, but the day you don’t find…her in me, you’ll feel guilty and retreat.” My voice cracks just at the thought. “I won’t be able to survive, after living a life I dream of and then getting robbed of it. Don’t ask me that, please.”
“Nothing will be robbed from you, Clem. I promise. Give me a chance.” His insistence makes the refusal harder.
“Keith—”
“Shh,” he rasps through the phone. “You looked breathtaking walking that runway. I’m so fucking proud of you.”
I clench my fists and close my eyes. My voice suddenly hoarse as I ask, “Did you watch the show?”
“I told you I would. Mere and I watched it together. I must warn you, she is all set to demand a similar dress for her prom.”
“I’m going to make her something much prettier.” I imagine Merida getting ready for her prom night, me fussing over her dress. “What are we doing, Keith?” I whisper, nervous to know his answer.
“We’re picking up from where we stopped.” His unwavering voice makes my heart race.
“You mean when you left me sleeping in your bed?”
He is quiet for a minute, maybe he wasn’t expecting this question from me. “I got scared,” he finally replies softly.
“Of me?” My voice trembles, not sure how his answer will affect me.
“Of you. Of how much I wanted you in my bed, not just that morning but every fucking one. Of how much you were teasing me with a glimpse of a future I thought was never mine. Of how much you were reminding me that life doesn’t have to be so fucking hard.” Before I can ask him more, he says, “Sleep now, angel. Today was your big day. We’ll talk about us soon.”
Once the call ends, I stare at my phone.
How can I relax after listening to all that?
I’m still thinking about Keith when Em’s number flashes on my screen. Thank God! She’s the one person who can flip my mood like a light switch.
“Hello, bestie.” The fresh enthusiasm in her voice tonight already cheers me up.
“You sound overly happy.”
“I am! Do you remember the two frequent visitors to the bar and how I was trying to bring them together? I think my mystic magic is working. The guy finally made a move.”
“Hold on! I have no memory of this. Who are these people and how many times have I told you not to get involved in other people’s business, especially love matters?”
She hesitates a second before replying, “Like never!” Her delightful squeal makes me laugh, and then Em tells me all about this couple who she thinks is destined to be together. “Now tell me about your story.”
“Keith called me tonight.” My pulse quickens and my body gets all warm remembering the call and this version of Keith.
“And?”