We stay in each other’s arms for another minute before Zane pulls away, and then he cocks his head toward the condom. “Need t-to get th-this fucker off.”
I chuckle as he stands up. “The fucker that lets you fuck me.”
He grins and heads toward the bathroom. I watch his perfect ass move until he vanishes.
My eyes close as I try to savor this feeling of being cherished when Zane’s soft hands place a warm, wet washcloth to the insides of my thighs. I shiver, not only because of how the damp cloth feels on my skin but also because of how it makes me feel within.
Zane places the cloth onto the nightstand and gets onto the bed. “G-good?”
I nod. “Very much.”
He smiles and pulls me into his arms. “How ar-re you feeling?”
“Like I’m the happiest person in the world.”
I look up and his soft fingers caress my cheeks. There’s love and concern in his voice when he says, “I’m very happy t-to hear that. But I was as-sking in ter-rms of health. Was t-today too hectic f-for you?”
I shake my head. “When you’re with me, I’m not scared of anything.”
He swallows hard and murmurs, “I’m happy I can get r-rid of at leas-st your fears.”
His voice, his words, the vulnerability that has slipped onto his face, shakes me to the core. My hand grazes his tensed face. “What scares you?”
His face transitions in slow motion. His clenched jaw loosens, and he shakes his head before smiling. “We’re all afr-raid of s-something. Aren’t we?”
I grab the blanket and cover us both before resting my back on Zane’s chest. There’s a moment of hesitation before his arms lock around me. We’ve had sex in the past, but we’ve never been…this close emotionally.
I close my eyes, burrowing myself more into him. “Tell me what scares you.”
“It’s-s a long lis-st.” He releases a humorless chuckle, which takes me by surprise. “For one, I’m scared sh-shitless of s-speaking to a r-room full of people.”
An uneasiness claws on my chest. “But you hold meetings.” My hand moves back and forth over his arm that rests above the covers.
“I cons-sult with a core gr-roup of technical experts, and then decis-sions are passed on th-through a management hier-rarchy.”
“But isn’t that how many companies work?” I whisper.
When his chin rests on my shoulder, I can feel his warm breath as he releases a deep sigh. “Th-that’s because they choose to operate th-that way, not because th-their manager fucking s-stutters.”
“Zane!” I gasp and turn around in a flash.
I blink rapidly as he pulls back. Avoiding my gaze, he runs his fingers through his hair as if pissed at himself.
I grab his face, bringing him back to me. “What do you mean?”
“You know w-what I mean, Vi. I s-sound like s-sandpaper grazing against glass. Who th-the fuck would w-want to listen to me t-talk? I’m gr-rateful that my brothers’ weddings d-didn’t involve me giving a t-toast.”
“Your brothers love you. I’m sure if you’d have given a toast, they’d have loved it.” A hollowed feeling grips me tight as a new realization dawns on me. Until now, I used to see Zane as some sort of super human. A man who’s unflappable with whatever life throws at us. But tonight, I see the stark chink in his calm exterior.
“That th-they do. But how long can I hide behind th-their love?” There’s no bite but deep resignation in his voice.
“There’ll always be someone in the crowd who’ll hold on to your every sentence, your every word. You just have to find that one person.”
His stormy gaze, filled with disbelief, rests on my face. “I d-don’t think I can find th-that person in this lifet-time.”
She’s right with you.
That one sentence is on the tip of my tongue, but I hold it back.