23
ZANE
Vienna and I wave a goodbye to Sophia and Beast, the last ones to leave, and finally we’re alone.
There’s so much to discuss. So much to talk about.
“Vi—” She interrupts me again, this time by placing a finger on my lips. My heart hammers when she looks at me, and so many emotions shine on her face. Her hand moves away from my mouth before she holds my face.
Vienna rises on her tiptoes and places a brief kiss on my lips, a ghost of a touch meant to calm my racing thoughts about hospitals, reports, and tests.
“I loved that your family was here today,” she whispers. Her face is still so close to me, and I can see the violet in her eyes under the porch light. “They did exactly what I wanted. I don’t want to think about... anything.” She shakes her head as if not even wanting to say the T word. “I want to talk about us, our honeymoon, Alex’s love for Chloe…”
When she smiles, I can’t hold back mine. I can’t even gather the courage to correct her by stating there’s no point in discussing a honeymoon that’ll never happen.
“Okay, b-but only for t-tonight.”
* * *
It’s past midnight, and Vienna’s sleeping on my bed. She has her purple duvet all the way up to her face, but sleep is miles away from me.
Phone in hand, I wait for an email from one of my medical college friends, also a renowned neurosurgeon. I sent him an email with Vienna’s reports while she was freshening up for bed.
My pulse skitters when the email arrives. It fucking doesn’t say what I want to hear. He confirms that the less invasive procedure of neuroendoscopy might not work.
My head rests against the headboard as I stare ahead and force my brain to not show me images of all the things that can go wrong in an open brain surgery, but I don’t succeed.
I fall asleep wondering how can I hold up on the promise that I took on the altar of keeping her happy in sickness and in health.
My sleep breaks at the usual time, and I slip out of the bed looking down at my wife sleeping peacefully.
God, what wouldn’t I give to have this peaceful expression on her face during the day.
Glancing down at her for moments too long, which definitely wouldn’t be considered normal in such a fake marriage, I step out of the room.
Normal.
There hasn’t been anything normal since I took Vienna to the hospital the first day.
We have a fake marriage for fuck’s sake. But we never discussed what’s off-limits.
Even Zach, my impulsive brother, was smarter than me. He had a marriage contract in place. But I have nothing to guide me with what I can and can’t have in this marriage.
I go through my morning routine with my mind going crazy with irrational thoughts.
I turn on the coffee machine knowing Vienna will be up soon, when my phone sitting on the counter buzzes.
It’s from the hospital letting us know they’ve scheduled Vienna’s tests for this afternoon and asking if that would be okay for us.
I can’t stop clenching my jaw to the point that it hurts.
“It’s from the hospital, right?” Vienna stands at the door, her hand clutching the doorframe. She’s wearing her white cotton shorts and a matching tee. With mussed hair fanning her face, she looks breathtaking, and my heart already conflicted since morning twists a bit more.
“It w-was expected,” I remind her and also myself.
Vienna plods inside. “Yeah, but I was hoping I’d still have the morning to dream about a honeymoon and a date in Frauenhuber.” The sad smile that tugs on her lips wants me to forget everything, book a private jet, and take her to that goddamn city.
But that’s not fucking possible.