“You can s-still do it. Wh-who’s stopping you?”
She glances up at me with a sad smile on her face. “I sold my camera and light equipment. The phone resolution isn’t enough for finer details.”
“W-why?” Why would she do that after putting so much effort into everything?
“I was collecting money to pay you back, Zane.” She shows me the balance on her online account. “I was so close to having enough for the first hospital visit and the MRI.”
My heart twists seeing the frown lines on her forehead.
“But now I don’t even know how much I owe you. For the hospital, the wedding, food…” She tilts her head toward our dinner on the table.
Everything inside me stills. She’s been thinking about the money all along? But she’s always two steps ahead, already gathering, skimping on things, and selling her beloved items. I can’t even imagine her stress level.
“Vienna, please t-tell me you’ll s-stop this saving.” She starts to say something, but I hold her gesturing hands. “If you’re d-doing this, th-then I’m failing in the pr-romise I made to myself and to you about k-keeping you healthy and s-safe.” My agitation makes the stuttering fucking pathetic.
“When did you make such a promise?” she whispers and her lips tremble.
“I vowed at th-the altar to be with you in s-sickness and in health. D-didn’t I?”
Before she can tell me that it was all fake, I press my finger to her lips.
“Th-this is mind-blowing.” I motion toward her phone. “If you need more confir-rmation, invite my nephews; th-they’ll never leave.”
She smiles, pulling my finger away from her lips but not letting go of my hand. A sense of belonging fills me when she twines out hands together. “Can we invite them over this weekend?”
“Their par-rents will be more th-than happy to have a kid-d-free day.” I unfortunately have to pull back and grab our dinner plates. “I’ll r-reheat the food, and this time, no s-sad talks.”
By the time we finish dinner, I’m better acquainted with the dreams of my wife. How her deepest desire is to someday work on a cookbook with a chef, and I wish from the bottom of my heart that she gets to fulfill all her dreams.
We stack the plates in the dishwasher. Mystery and Tassels are already asleep in their beds in the living room, and there’s no reason for us to be standing in the kitchen, idling time away on stupid tasks like folding the kitchen towel multiple times. But we still do.
Finally, we both step out of the kitchen and slowly reach the landing before the bedrooms. Vienna shifts on her feet outside the door of the guest room, and I, too, take my sweet time getting inside mine.
I don’t like her sleeping alone at night. I know it’s not only because my crazy brain is expecting a repeat of last night but also because I don’t want her to be alone in case she has another episode.
But when she doesn’t say anything, I wish her a good night and walk back into my room. My chest remains uneasy while I get out of my clothes and pull on my sweatpants.
I get into bed, and unlike every other night, I can’t seem to pick up my iPad from the bedside and start on a medical journal. Instead, I close my eyes, and Vienna’s dreams, her designs, flash before me like a slideshow. I hate that she sold her equipment to pay me back.
I’m lost in my thoughts, so it takes me a beat to realize that my bedroom door is creaking open. The soft, dim golden nightlight casts a shadow on the wall as Vienna stands just inside my doorway, dressed in a cotton tank top and shorts. She’s clutching her duvet and pillow close to her chest.
“Can I sleep with you?” I’m sure she can see the shocked expression on my face, even in the faintly lit room, because she adds, “I mean… I don’t want to be alone. Can I?”
When I make no attempt to get up, and my hands remain locked behind my head while my whole body feels tight like an elastic stretched too long, she mutters a sorry and turns around.
That’s when I realize she misunderstood my stunned reaction.
I get up in a rush, and before she can leave, I pull her back into my arms. Everything falls from her hands to the floor as my grip tightens around her waist.
“D-don’t go. St-stay.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to encroach on more of your personal space than I’m already taking,” she whispers.
I pull her close, inhaling the smell of the coconut shampoo. “I like you in my per-rsonal s-space.” When she’s facing away from me, I let my heart speak.
Vienna slowly turns around. I can’t wait to see her violet eyes gleaming like last night, and she doesn’t disappoint. “I promise I came just for company.”
“And I pr-romise I’m never gonna take more th-than you’re offering.” I place a kiss on her forehead before grabbing her things.