Kayla
"Dammit!"
Jen, my assistant peeks her head in.
"Girl, you just need to go home and eat your feelings over whatever is going on and cry yourself to sleep," she says when I yell at my computer for the tenth time today.
I'm so distracted, I keep making stupid mistakes. Never have I been this off my game.
"Seriously, you should go. The Board is starting to notice. Go home. Get your head on straight. I can redirect them by gossiping about this illegal rodeo you helped shut down. It’s still the talk all over town. Some big developer is trying to make all sorts of deals now."
Crap, if the Board has noticed, then she's right. I need to get my head back in the game.Jen can distract them and I know she’s right.
"Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe."
"I know we aren't close, but do you need to talk about it?" she asks with such sincerity in her eyes that I break down and have her come into my office and lock the door.
I pour her a drink and launch into the story from my first meeting at WJ's to my accident, meeting Brice, staying with him, the people of Rock Springs, my time with Brice, my second meeting at WJ's, the busting of the illegal rodeo, the long-distance, the gala, the fight, and Brice’s I love you bomb, ending with my fight withAva, Kelsey, Beth, and Willa on Monday.
When I'm done, she stands up and pours herself another drink, and chugs it.
"Damn, how are you even out of bed?"
"I have a company to run. Plus, I'm not even sleeping in my own bed."
"This world isn't going to change. The people around you aren't going to change. You need to decide what you want, and the only thing you can change is you and your location. You’re good, no scratch that. You’re fucking amazing at your job. I'm one of many women who look up to you, but this job isn't worth giving up your happiness and or your life. No job is. This job isn't going to keep you warm at night and be there when you’re sick."
Jen’s right. I know she is. She’s not saying anything I haven’t thought, even if I try to push those thoughts away.
"What I haven't heard is how you feel about him. That is what you need to figure out. Once you do, then the rest will be easy."
"You’re right. I’ll go home and try to get my head on straight."
"Just shoot me a text if you aren't coming in. I’ve got your back."
"Thanks."
I stop and get take out on my way home. But the moment I step in the door, it's like every night. Brice is here and I see him in every corner of the place. I can't even sleep in my bed. I've been sleeping in the guest room. The one-room he was never in.
I change into my lounge clothes and sit down to eat. I've been seeing the people around me in a new light and I'm not liking what I see.
Bright and early Monday morning,Ava, Kelsey, Beth, and Willa marched into my office and dragged me to lunch. What Brice had said was still fresh in my head so when Willa asked what I was thinking by bringing him to the event and then they all burst out giggling…well, I felt no shame in tossing my water in her face, calling them all insensitive bitches, and telling them to lose my number before stomping out.
Everything Brice had told me was true, and I just blew him off about all of it. It forced me to look at everyone around me with new eyes. And honestly, I hated what I saw. I was appalled when I started comparing them to how the people in Rock Springs treated me. It was a night and day difference.
I tried to watch some TV, but my mind was on Brice, on that last night when I should have taken his side but didn't, and how badly I screwed things up.
"Goodness, dear, didn't you hear us knocking?"
Mom walks in and turns the TV off.
"No. Sorry, my head is elsewhere."
"We heard you went home early and wanted to check on you."
"Brice was right. About whatAva, Kelsey, Beth, and Willa said to him. They confirmed it at lunch on Monday. I may have thrown water in Willa's face and told them off before storming out."
"Lucky for you, it didn't make the papers," Mom says, scolding me.