“I’m only drinking some,” I said, putting the can in the cup holder.
We finally pulled onto the road that led to the cabin. It was near a few others, but we had our own private drive and dock on the lake. It was a little too cold to swim now, but in a few weeks it might be doable.
“Here it is,” I said as Lucah parked. The floodlights came on, bathing the car in white light.
So far, the cabin looked good, but it was too dark to really tell. My parents hired a caretaker, but he didn’t do much beyond making sure the roof wasn’t caved in and the pipes weren’t frozen.
We got out of the car and I waited for Lucah’s assessment.
“It’s nice,” he said finally turning and giving me a grin. “I can definitely see us spending a lot of time up here this summer.” My parents would love that. They were always encouraging me to make use of it, but it was hard to get my friends’ schedules to line up so we could come up here.
“Really?” I asked. I couldn’t tell if he was lying to me or not. I shut the passenger door and he came around the front of the car. He cupped my face between his hands.
“Really. It’s beautiful.” That was definitely sincere. I smiled and took his hand.
“Come on, I want to show you the lake.” I grabbed the flashlight we’d bought at the grocery store and led him down the path to the lake. The path was a bit overgrown and I was glad that I’d worn my boots. Lucah went ahead of me to hold back the branches so they wouldn’t whack me in the face. So considerate.
It was chilly by the water, but the soft slosh of it against the wood of the dock was one of my favorite sounds. We walked to the end and both sat down. I crossed my legs and sighed. It smelled exactly the same.
“This is really beautiful. I know it’s dark, but still.” I leaned back and braced myself with my hands. I jumped when I heard an owl hoot near us.
“I always wanted to come to a place like this,” he said. I knew that would come up eventually. Lucah had told me about his childhood spent camping under a tarp in the yard and pretending.
“I’m sorry you didn’t get it,” I said, looking out across the water. His hand brushed mine.
“Hey. I’m not angry with you for having what you have. You know that. We just grew up differently. That’s not anyone’s fault. It just is the way it is.” I hated that it was the way it was. I wanted to go back and change it.
“I know. I don’t like it, though.” He chuckled softly.
“Oh, Sunshine. You can’t change my past or yours. We can’t unroll the dice. We can only go forward. And I want to go forward with you. Beside you.” He always said the right thing. The perfect thing.
I leaned against him and he gathered me to his chest.
“My childhood wasn’t bad, Rory. It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t bad. I don’t regret how I grew up because my parents always made the best of it. Those were the days I had with them and I cherish every moment. Even the ones where we ate cereal for dinner.” Talking like this always made me uncomfortable. I could listen and tell him I loved him and that was about it. Made me feel useless.
“I know. I still feel guilty,” I said into his shirt. I played with his buttons. Maybe coming here had been a bad idea.
Lucah didn’t answer me. Instead, he stood up, pulling me with him.
I was about to ask what he was doing when he stripped off his shirt and then his shoes.
“You are not doing what I think you’re doing,” I said, but he most definitely was. He got down to his boxers and then hurled himself off the edge.
I screamed, he splashed and then surfaced. I used the flashlight to find him and he smiled at me as he bobbed in the water.
“Get in here,” he said, motioning to me.
“No way, it’s probably freezing.” I might have been more adventurous if I had some booze in me. The bottles of wine and beer were back in the car.
“Come on,” he said again and something inside me snapped. Fumbling, I got my boots and shirt and jeans off. The air was a little chilly, but it was going to be nothing to the water.
I took a few steps back and then ran to the edge, screaming as I threw myself into the dark water.
Yup, it was cold. I wanted to scream as it hit me, but I didn’t want to swallow a mouthful of water. Kicking to the surface, I broke through and wiped water out of my eyes.
“It’s fucking freezing!” I said, splashing him. He bobbed a few feet away from me, his teeth flashing as he smiled in the dark.
“I told you. But aren’t you glad you did it?”