ChapterOne
Broken heart
He was gone. Lilly could only sit on the edge of her bed and hold the phone as the conversation she’d just had played over and over again in her head.
“I’m sorry, Lilly. Christian is gone.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, the tears not coming, but the pain so monumental she couldn’t even breathe.
Christian’s dead.
He was only thirty, the same age as she was, the same as Riley and Tallin.
God, that’s so young. It’s so tragic and devastating.
The sound of the clock ticking on her wall was not enough background noise to dull the ringing in her ears. She stood, the room spinning, everything going in and out of focus, and sweat beading her brow.
Sorrow for the loss of one of her best friends assaulted her, claimed every part of her, and was sucking the very life from her. Guilt that she hadn’t seen him as much as she should since she left wracked her, made her feel like a worthless piece of shit person.
You didn’t say goodbye. You should have talked to him more, made an effort to go back home and see him.
She squeezed her eyes again, sucking in air, feeling dizzy, like she was in a prison and there was never any chance of her escaping.
She didn’t get to say goodbye.
I didn’t get to tell him that I loved him, that he was such a good friend.
She would finally be going home again after being away for so many years. Even if she’d spoken to the guys during that time, it wouldn’t be a happy reunion. No, she was going back to watch Christian being buried.
God, can I even get through this? Can I go back and see Riley and Tallin and not have a breakdown?
Thinking about the other two men that had been part of their quartet made her heart hurt, made every part of her tighten. How could she face them with such tragedy hanging over them?
They’d stayed in Burkett, Colorado this whole time, and she knew they’d spent time with Christian. This had to be earth-shattering to them.
Sitting back on the bed, she breathed out and ran her hand over her eyes.
She might not know if she could do this, but she didn’t have a choice.