18
Ness
We were preparedfor another trap. I didn’t want to be back on Alvin’s estate for the second time today. My skin itched, and it made my hound restless. She paced inside me. My heart raced as it climbed into my throat.
I glanced behind us over and over. There was no way of telling if anyone was near because Alvin’s henchmen had been hiding their scents.
“Ness,” Connor said in what he probably thought was a reassuring tone.
I stifled the urge to stomp on Connor’s instep. It wasn’t his fault that his voice grated on my nerves right now. The last time he’d brought me here, Alvin had been whispering sweet little lies to him.
This time, I had Ryder by my side.
“Tell us what you found,” Ryder interjected before Connor could say anything more.
Connor straightened his spine and gave a grave nod. “I came to check on Candi like you asked.”
I shot a look in Ryder’s direction. When had he given that order? Ryder flashed me a quick smile. I squeezed his hand. It was too late to thank him, and I couldn’t blame Connor.
That stone in the pit of my stomach became awfully heavy as we approached the front door.
Connor hesitated at the door. Even here, I could smell it.
Blood.
I’d failed Candi. I’d fucked up, big time.
Pulling in a shuddering breath as my stomach sank, I gave a nod. Connor fidgeted nervously. He wasn’t the one to blame here. Ryder had asked him to check in, and he had done just that.
However, I’d known that something was wrong from the moment I stepped foot in here this morning. I’d known, and then I’d left. If anyone was to blame for what we were about to see, it was me.
The door creaked open to reveal a dark hall. I expected to see Candi in the dining room ahead, right where I’d left her. She wasn’t there, though. Connor led us deeper into the house, down familiar paths that made my stomach churn around that heavy stone made of guilt.
A light in the living room glowed oddly. It took me a moment to register that the lamp had been tilted, warping the shadows. I swallowed and peered into the doorway. From here, I could see the back of Candi’s head. She looked as though she were sitting on the couch, waiting for us.
The smell of blood was stronger here. It made my mouth salivate uncomfortably. I knew that it was nerves, my hound scratching at my insides so that she could escape. Still, my watering mouth made me feel like a beast hungry for the hunt.
That wasn’t me. I wasn’t anything like Alvin.
Cautious, I stepped around to the front of the couch. That was my first mistake. The squish of the blood-soaked carpet under my feet brought bile up to sear the back of my throat. When I saw Candi, gutted on the couch, that bile turned into vomit.
I lurched toward the nearest window, threw it open, and shoved the screen out. The meager contents of my stomach came back up.
Oh look, I brought your cake back.
Hating the thoughts that rolled through my mind after that, I rested my forehead against the windowsill and waited for my stomach to settle around that stone again.
When would my insides become my own again? The ritual arcana pressed against a wall of ice. Both made my chest too tight. Even though I tried to breathe deep, I couldn’t fill my lungs the way I wanted to.
The dread that had been lurking low inside me had turned to soul-eating guilt. Between them both was my hound, trapped and scared. We had nowhere to turn, only a path ahead that was tumultuous and unpredictable.
“This isn’t your fault,” Ryder said from the other side of the room.
I lifted my head to find him in the doorway. He hadn’t entered the living room, yet. He had no idea what the scene on the couch looked like. How could he tell me anything when he didn’t know what Alvin had done?
I got up and went to Candi so I could close her eyes and give her a more peaceful expression than the one she’d worn in death. She’d been gone for a while, I supposed, or else I would be able to feel the reaper here to collect her soul. There was no chill in the air, only a heat pressing against my cheeks.
I remembered Alvin’s dark silhouette outside, when Marcus and Jackson tried to kidnap me. Alvin was always there. He was the shadow clinging to my back. I couldn’t shake him no matter how I tried.