Like hell would I let him do this alone. I quietly picked my way through the brush, careful to be silent. No twigs snapped under my feet. I barely even made a rustle. Still, Ryder knew what I was up to. He glanced back, giving me a dirty look.
I wasn’t going to fall back now, though. I motioned for him to keep going. He rolled his eyes and put one hand back. Without thinking, I took his hand.
Butterflies danced in my stomach. I shouldn’t have touched him. I was trying to put distance between us, but his presence pulled me in. Around him, I didn’t have to think. My body moved on its own.
That wasn’t good when I needed to keep this ice in place. Right now, I could feel death so close that its chill permeated my entire being. I didn’t think the ice would melt if I held Ryder’s hand.
That deathly chill in the air should have been the first warning of what was ahead. No, that smell of rot should have given it away. I’d assumed that smell had belonged to Alvin. I hadn’t even considered that there would be something actually rotting on this path.
Ryder pushed a branch aside, revealing a small, dark grove within the woods. I blinked, my eyes adjusting to the dim light. When my vision sharpened, I let out a yelp. From a rope dangled what had been an animal. The branch decided to snap right then and there.
The dead animal hit the ground with a sickening splat. I grimaced and hid my face behind Ryder. He stood still, his attention still fixed on the dead animal on the ground. I dared another peek to see what the animal had been.
The creature had become indistinguishable in death. Not only was it bloated and rotting, but someone had spilled its guts onto the ground, creating a mess of insides and outsides that my brain did not want to process.
“Who would have done something like this?” Ryder asked.
Considering the fact that we’d been tracking Alvin’s scent down this path, I figured there was only one answer to that question. However, I did wonder if we’d been wrong. If we’d been tracking the smell of rot and not Alvin’s actual scent, we could have wandered down the wrong path.
Then I noticed the red candle sitting nearby. In the dim light here, everything seemed different shades of gray. I almost didn’t see it at first. The candle was the same as the ones Alvin had set up for the ritual.
I swallowed the lump growing in my throat. It was difficult not to blame myself for the scene before us. My lower lip trembled as I tried to form words. My brain played on a loop, though.
Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.
My hound gnashed her teeth. The sound broke through the droning inside my skull. I shook myself and sucked in a deep, yet shaky breath. The hound reminded me that I was not to blame for Alvin’s machinations.
Still, I mourned the poor creature’s life. It hadn’t deserved to die this way.
Ryder knelt near what I could only call a crime scene. He sniffed, cringed, and tightened his jaw like he was fighting the urge to vomit and didn’t want to show it. He didn’t have to put on that much bravado around me, but I couldn’t find my voice to tell him.
That night, after Ryder helped me escape Alvin’s ritual, I’d lost control of my body in my sleep. This scene was so close to the building where Alvin had kept me that there was no other explanation that made sense.
Alvin needed to sacrifice an animal in order to control me.
He’d done it twice now. I wondered if those small commands required sacrifice, too. How many animals had Alvin killed just to give me a command? I shuddered to think of what he was willing to do to keep me as a tool.
“This isn’t your fault,” Ryder said even though the smell in the area must have choked him.
I gave a weak nod because I clearly didn’t believe him. Had fate not put me here, then maybe things would have been easier. Instead, Alvin saw me as a weapon that he could use against his pack. Now that I had power, Alvin would do anything to have it for himself.
“This is why I want to put an end to this rat bastard once and for all.” I backpedaled out of the grove.
Once I was back on the path, I sucked down more air. Though it wasn’t completely free of the stench of rot, it was far better than being right on top of the dead creature.
Alvin would have me as his weapon. If I lost control of the ice keeping my arcana safe, then all bets were off. I sank into a crouch, my head on my knees while I fought back tears. Ryder didn’t follow, leaving me alone to consider the weight of my accursed existence.
If I’d listened to my father and left with Thor a while back, then this wouldn’t have happened. Alvin wouldn’t have used me against my pack, or against Ryder. Ryder thought he was safe with me, but I’d come so close to hurting him. I hated the thought that it would happen again.
So long as Alvin was alive, he would keep sacrificing animals to make me hurt those I loved.
I would find the strength to kill him myself if that was what it took. I didn’t care what Ryder thought anymore. Maybe he wouldn’t be the one to kill Alvin, but it needed to be done. I needed to learn how to do things myself.
A shiver of worry rippled through me. If Alvin sacrificed an animal, he would be able to stop me from hurting him. I found myself in Ryder’s position. I’d commanded Ryder to leave Harvey alone, which had rendered Ryder incapable of stopping Harvey when I’d needed him the most.
Worst of all, every night that passed put us in danger again. While Alvin was away, he could do whatever he wanted. He could take control of me in the middle of the night and force me to hurt Ryder. If Ryder wanted to bring in reinforcements, then maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea.
They could help keep him safe.
Safe from me.
Well, this sucked. But that wasn’t anything new.