While Cerri’s bright arcana tugged at one end, Addie’s darker power tugged at the other. Their arcanas had torn the curse in half, rending the stone nothing but a lump of earth.
Since I’d discovered that my own arcana was similar to Addie’s, I’d hoped that perhaps we could do that again. I didn’t have control over death, but I did have death on speed dial—in a weird way.
But Cerri shook her head. “It won’t be that easy. Besides, I’m not going to risk hurting you in the process.”
The memory of my own death hit me like a truck again. I realized that I hadn’t told my friends about that yet. I wanted to get them all together before I brought it up again, though. There was a chance that Addie might have answers. If not, then maybe the demon-born Vi could tell me something.
“God, what the hell is a Barghest? Am I a demon? A fae? A fucking anomaly?”
Cerri lifted a worried brow. “Okay. I’ll bite. Where did that even come from? Are you all right?”
I pulled my hair back and tugged. “No. I’m having an identity crisis.”
After taking a long drag on my iced coffee to quell the fire still burning in the pit of my stomach, I shook myself to cast off the funk looming over me. It didn’t really work, but I pretended like it did. Cerri gave me a dubious look. She knew better.
“A lot has happened in a short period of time. It’s okay to need some time to process it all.” She twisted her hands, her gaze now downcast. “I know I needed it.”
Shit. I felt bad again.
I could have protected Cerri. If I’d goaded Alvin a little more, he would have attacked me. We all knew that his ego was a fragile thing. I’d learned that so long ago that it’d become my go-to tactic when dealing with Alvin.
Cerri flicked the tip of my nose. Startled, I blinked and shook my head.
“It’s. Not. Your. Fault.” She stared me down.
I gave her a tight-lipped smile because I was unconvinced. I had to figure out how to do the right thing in the moment, rather than look back and suffer knowing I’d failed.
“I got too complacent,” Cerri said. Her gaze slid toward the window, though I knew she was searching within, not without. “I never thought Alvin would target me because I assumed I blended into the crowd. When Alvin took me, a part of me hoped that I would suddenly manifest shifter abilities, kind of the same way your arcana has been popping up.
“That didn’t happen, though. I couldn’t shift into a new form to escape Alvin. I couldn’t even heal from what he did to me. I’m practically human in a supernatural world, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
She turned and set about working. “This is the best I can do, and it can’t even help me if I’m not prepared. I can brew a selection of potions and craft a backpack that will allow me to carry them, but that’s cumbersome. All anyone would have to do is push me over, then all the bottles will shatter when I fall.”
I’d always thought of Cerri as the strongest of my friends. She’d taken her life into her own hands. When she didn’t become a shifter, like me, she’d found her arcana and mastered it. I never once thought that she might feel weak.
I stared down at my empty, useless hands and wondered what else I was missing.
Cerri shoved another potion into my hands. This one was cold to the touch. The way my fingers stuck to the icy exterior helped to ground me. It reminded me of the ice still wrapped around my ribcage. That touch of death protected me.
“What is in this?”
“You don’t want to know,” was all Cerri said.
I lifted the bottle in cheers and brought it to my lips. After a moment of hesitation, I lifted it. The icy liquid slid down my throat like liquid-needles. Ice scraped all the way down. I thought I would spit up blood after this, but there was no metallic taste in my mouth when I finished.
The ice slithered around my stomach like a snake searching for prey. I waited, weirded out by the sensation going on inside me. The snake kept moving. Its chill permeated my body, reaching further and further until I was frozen in place.
Wait, was this supposed to happen?
I tried to lift my gaze to Cerri’s, but I couldn’t even move my eyes. What the hell was going on? I expected to hear my hound’s whimper, but even she was silent. It was as if every atom of my being had been put on pause. I didn’t like this one bit. I half-expected Cerri to rip off a latex mask to reveal that she’d been Alvin all along.
The fear didn’t subside even when Cerri softly assured me that this was all according to plan. In her gentlest voice, she told me her plans. She explained that the ice potion was to stop everything, even my arcana.
I didn’t understand what that meant until I realized that meant the ritual’s arcana would be affected by the potion, too. Cerri meant to isolate it. Now, she just had to find it.
Cerri slapped a hand to my forehead. I would have reeled from the force of it if I could have moved. Instead, I bore the impact and waited forsomethingto happen. When I felt a new presence moving inside myself, I panicked. I thought the ritual arcana had broken free of Cerri’s potion, then I realized that it wasn’t the ritual arcana that moved through me.
That was Cerri’s arcana.