I fought to keep my jaw from hitting the floor. Beryl wanted Ryder to kill Harvey? I didn’t understand what kind of game she was playing.
Undaunted by Ryder’s silence, Beryl stood. She approached Ryder. His grip on my hand grew near painful, but I didn’t let go. Beryl slid her hand up Ryder’s chest and neck until she could rest her palm at the base of his skull.
My hound growled in warning. I fought the urge to tug him away from her because I knew she would have an iron grip on him. But when I noticed the golden gleam on her lips, I realized what she was doing. Before she could kiss him, I shoved my hand between their faces.
It was awkward as hell when her lips met my palm. Ryder seemed taken aback. He gave me a curious look, but I kept my attention on Beryl.
“You think you’re being sneaky, but I see right through you,” I growled.
My hound was furious. She didn’t want anyone to manipulate her dragon man. Beryl was being underhanded, and I was tired of it. My arcana latched onto that anger.
Beryl narrowed her eyes at me. Her irises flashed red, like a predator searching for prey in the dark of night.
“You’re trying to get him drunk on faery food again,” I said.
The corner of her mouth quirked. I caught a hint of sharp teeth beyond those painted lips. I had to remember that Beryl was a queen. She was stronger than me, and she had Ryder in her clutches. I could only do so much before she retaliated. If I pushed her and she hurt Ryder, I would never forgive myself.
I let my hand fall back down to my side.
“Beryl,” Ryder said, pulling the fae queen’s attention back to him. “I killed someone once before. I will never forget watching life drain out of his eyes. That is not an experience I ever wish to endure again, even if it is Harvey that we’re talking about.”
“If you took a life, it clearly didn’t mean much to you. Those who fall to your power were always beneath you.”
Ryder tensed. A growl emanated from his chest. His grip on my hand tightened almost unbearably. He leaned in close to Beryl, and said, “I killed a man who was far better than myself. His death took something from me that I will never get back. If you think I’m going to give any part of myself to you and your petty request, then you’re wrong.”
I knew that Ryder had killed his Alpha, or clan leader as the dragons would call it. Ryder hadn’t explained his relationship to his clan leader. The way that Ryder bristled now made me wonder if he’d been closer to his clan leader than I’d first thought.
Ryder wanted to leave Lakesedge because he was afraid of retaliation from his clan. What if it was more than that? I understood wanting revenge for a fallen leader, especially one who’d been good to them before a sickness addled his mind. Yet, Ryder’s worry seemed greater than that.
This was less about revenge and more about running from what he’d done. Had…had the clan leader been a relative? I couldn’t imagine living with the blood of my own kin on my hands. Which made me wonder who Ryder could have killed.
“Comply with my command.” Beryl’s voice boomed through the court as she pulled herself to her full height. “Blood is blood. We must spill it to make our communities better. I thought that was a lesson you learned when you took your father’s life. Or perhaps you ran away from them too soon. You did not stay to watch them flourish under Brigid’s leadership.
“She told me how your clan asked her to fill your father’s place. She’s brought them together and helped them become stronger. Your father’s blood fertilized the ground for a new clan to grow. Don’t tell me that was a waste.”
His father?
My stomach hit the ground. I owed Ryder an apology. Though I had no way of knowing, I still could have been nicer to him. I’d asked him to kill, too. I could see why he refused to do it ever again. Ryder would always see a piece of his father in himself every time he looked in the mirror. He would never escape the guilt of what he’d done because he could not escape himself.
“I won’t do it,” Ryder said through clenched teeth.
I wondered, idly, if his jaw hurt tonight. His willpower was being tested left and right. I hadn’t meant to hurt him earlier. Watching Beryl put him through the same test made me feel awful for what I’d done.
“You test the limits of my patience tonight,” Beryl said to Ryder. Her gaze flicked to me. A hungry smile spread over her face. She reached out and tucked a fingertip beneath my chin.
Ryder snarled and yanked me back. I hit his chest, but Beryl was undaunted. She closed the distance and gripped my chin with her spindly fingers.
“I will take your little hound here. I will break her. She will yearn for the fruits of my realm until she wastes away. She will grovel on her knees for even a taste.”
Though fear tried to turn my blood cold, my wrath burned hotter. I stepped forward, ready to argue, but Ryder braced his arm over my chest and kept me back.
“You will not lay a hand on her.” Ryder’s chest vibrated with the force of his growl.
Beryl grinned imperiously. Her eyes flashed red, betraying her irritation. “Do you really think you could stop me? You know what even a small bite can do. Your meals taste like ash in your mouth. You keep eating mortal food even though it means nothing on your tongue. You crave more fruit, more wine. I can see it written all over your face.”
I tried to twist, but Ryder wouldn’t let me move. Could he not taste mortal food anymore? Why hadn’t he told me? Cerri could have worked on an antidote. If he’d just brought it up once, then we could have fixed this. Instead, he’d tried to deal with it on his own.
Ryder needed to learn that he wasn’t alone. Not so long as he was here.