Yet, here we were. We’d both abandoned what we were supposed to do. My hands were too filthy to care for a clan. Morgan seemed too tainted by rage. We’d become twisted versions of ourselves over the years.
Though I wanted to blame our father and the Treasure Sickness, I also knew that we had made these choices. We’d done this to ourselves.
In that moment, I missed my brother fiercely. I missed trading blows with him in the valley, where no one could hear our thunderous fights. I missed our eating competitions and fighting over Bri. The days of brotherly love were long gone. I’d been too busy, too eager to run away, to stop and think about what else I’d lost.
It was so much more than home and duty. I’d lost my family. Dad was gone. Morgan despised me. I’d avoided speaking to my mother out of fear that she would be disappointed. I had killed her mate, after all.
My stomach tightened. The taste of the wine and fruit slid along my tongue like the memory of a lover. It promised oblivion. I would feel nothing if I went back and took what I wanted from Beryl’s offerings. She would give me the solace that I desperately needed.
I hadn’t tasted real food in days. Even the pizza had been nothing more than cardboard on my tongue. I bemoaned the loss of such a simple pleasure. The hunger would get the best of me at some point. Right now, I was hanging on by a thread.
The enchantment would win.
Bri pulled in next to an unfamiliar car. I jumped out of the SUV and caught a familiar scent on the air. The tall man getting out of the car across from me made my beast snarl viciously. The last time I’d seen Connor, he’d given Ness over to Alvin.
The rage propelled me forward. I grabbed Connor by the front of his shirt, spun him around, and slammed him into his own car. He grunted and reached for my arms, but didn’t push me away.
“Ryder!” Bri shouted, rushing toward us.
Connor put out a hand to stop her. “Don’t worry, ma’am. I deserve this.”
“Damn right, you do.” My chest vibrated with the force of my beast’s growl.
Connor grimaced, his forced smile slipping.
“What the hell is going on?” Bri asked, cautiously.
I could almost hear the gears working in Bri’s mind. Before she could come to any kind of conclusion, I stepped back from Connor. I shoved him back into his car before putting space between us.
He rubbed at his chest. When was the last time he’d eaten? He looked frail. It seemed that his guilt was eating away athim. I shouldn’t have felt bad, but I couldn’t help but pity him.
“There’s going to be another pack meeting, soon,” Connor said.
Frigid ice hit my veins. My breath hitched. If I wanted to hide anything from Bri, it was over now. She stared at me, her eyes piercing any façade I could have thrown up between us.
“Alvin isn’t happy about what happened to Harvey. He’s going to punish Ness again.”
I did a double take. “Wait. What happened to Harvey? What does that mean?”
Connor bit back a laugh. “Ness took his eye. He let everyone know who was responsible. The story Harvey is telling is that she forced him to sit still while she gouged his eye out.”
White-hot rage flared in my chest. I took a step toward Connor before reminding myself that Connor wasn’t the enemy right now. He hadn’t done anything other than relay a message.
“That’s not what happened,” I said.
“Who is Alvin going to believe? Harvey or Ness?”
“That’s bullshit,” I growled. “We both know that the two of them are lying. Alvin knows that Ness did that to defend herself.”
I recalled the squelching sound that Harvey’s face made when Ness hit him with the sledgehammer. I hadn’t thought anything of it at the time. Shifters could heal from a lot, so that could have been harmless.
Now that Harvey had shifted back to human form and he was still without an eye, it might never come back. While Harvey deserved what had happened to him, we all knew that Alvin would use it as fuel on the fire. Never mind the number of times that they’d hurt Ness.
My beast roared. Its fury rang in my ears. I couldn’t hear anything past the sound filling me.
Bri grabbed me by the arm and dragged me inside. Connor followed us and shut the door behind him. Bri cast a wary glance back at Connor, but he didn’t leave. He gave her a queasy, uncertain smile while rocking on his heels.
I didn’t want him here, but I also couldn’t bring myself to kick him out. He’d come here to warn me. The problem was that my hands felt empty. What could I do? There was the obvious answer, but that wasn’t enough.