She glared at me over her shoulder. Slamming the cabinets, she spun and put her hands on her hips. Bri had a fiery gaze as her eyes narrowed. I shrugged, refusing to be intimidated by her show of frustration. I couldn’t change what was. She had to face the facts.
I was never going back to Thunder Pass.
The truth stung more than I wanted to admit. A part of me had held onto the hope that things would change and that I would be able to go back to Thunder Pass eventually.
“Bri, why are you here? You can’t tell me that you’ve forgiven me. I won’t believe you.”
She rolled her eye. “Dumbass. There’s nothing to forgive. We all saw it. He couldn’t hide anything from us. Neither could you. We saw the Treasure Sickness, and no one had the balls to do anything about it aside from you.”
Her words punched me in the gut. My guilt sank deeper, shoved back as all the air rushed out of my lungs.
“You knew?”
Bri’s jaw clenched. I watched indecision flicker across her pale eyes. When her lips parted, her breath shuddered and made her lower lip tremble. That was when I noticed the tears starting to gather and turn her eyes glassy.
She nodded and used the gesture to wipe at her eyes. I should have gone to her and comforted her, but she and I would never be the same people we used to be. The Ryder that she knew and loved once upon a time had died with his father. Maybe Bri held onto the idea of who I once was, but I couldn’t go back to being him now that I’d taken a life.
Looking away, she sniffled. “We saw the signs. We did our best to stay away from him so that no one would get caught in his warpath, but that didn’t always work. No matter how we tried to insulate ourselves, it seemed as though he knew exactly how to drive a wedge between us.”
This sounded a lot like another Alpha. Alvin used fear to control his pack. I wanted them to rise up and push back against the man, but they refused to lift even a finger. It made me hate them. Ness deserved better.
In the end, I deserved better, too.
Could I blame them, though? Could I look at the two shifter groups and say that they were in the wrong? They were trying to do their best. Their best had left other shifters out, though.
“Bri, I didn’t need to hear this.” I turned to leave.
“Ryder! You don’t understand what it feels like to be weak. None of us could take him on. What were we supposed to do?”
The smell of flowers and wine drifted on the air again. I exhaled and welcomed Beryl’s intervention this time. Right before Beryl whisked me away, I said:
“Maybe I don’t, but I’ve seen others rise to the occasion. It takes love and hope.”
I didn’t see Bri’s reaction. The wine-red cloak of Beryl’s magic wrapped around me. My feet lifted from the ground only to crash back down in the span of a single heartbeat. Beryl looked me up and down from her seat on her lounge. A golden wine glass hung between her delicate yet too-long fingers.
“You look ragged, darling. Would you like a sip to make those worries disappear?”
My mouth watered. I clenched my fists and tried to recall the pain of the medallion’s cord tightening around my throat. “No, thanks.”
She smiled demurely. “You need to put those hands to work. You have a duty that needs to be fulfilled or you will never be able to leave Lakesedge.”
A small voice in the back of my mind told me that I would always be trapped here. No, not trapped. The voice told me that this was where I belonged. Lakesedge wouldn’t let go of me because I’d found my home once and for all.
Though I couldn’t let myself believe that right now, the thought left me on uneven ground. On one hand, I craved a place that belonged to me. My dragon needed a home. Losing the one that should have belonged to me had left a hole in my beast that needed to be filled.
But my past would take this one from me, too. Morgan wouldn’t allow me to have anything after this.
I shook myself free of my thoughts. “You can’t make me do jack shit.”
Beryl laughed. The medallion on my chest grew unbearably hot. It seared its way through my skin. I hissed and leaned froward to get it away from my chest, but it clung to me, the fire sinking deeper and deeper.
“You’ll be a good little pawn, and do as you’re told,” Beryl growled as she leaned forward.
I bent double, the fire like fingers trying to wrap around my heart. It kept me from drawing a breath. My chest seized for the second time today. Dropping to my knees, I clenched my fists and pressed my knuckles into the hard-packed earth.
Beryl would not break me. This was only pain. I doubted it was even real. Fae magic often dealt with illusions. Soon, the illusion would break, and I would be able to breathe again.
But the pain refused to relent. The fingers of fire spread deeper. They reached up my throat and wrapped around my skull. My elbows buckled and sent me crashing into the ground. I barely felt the impact when my cheek hit the earth.