I glanced back, in the direction of Ryder’s rental apartment outside Lakesedge. He and I shared a bond that neither of us understood. I knew that I’d done wrong by keeping secrets from him, but I hoped that he could help me. Ryder was the only one I could trust to hold his own.
Perhaps I placed too much trust in him, though. I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that my hound wanted to go back to him. She wanted me to see if he’d left town yet. I knew that if he had, she would howl with despair.
I didn’t know what her obsession with Ryder was about, but I had a feeling it had something to do with our bond. If he had a mate, then what was this bond?
Lifting my hand, I tilted it back and forth to see if the lightning mark would glow. Nothing appeared for a moment, making me wonder if it’d vanished. Then, a pale light flickered under my skin.
It was still there, but why? I didn’t have anyone who could tell me what this meant. Cerri had given it her all when I’d asked her to help me remove it. Thankfully, she’d failed because now I wasn’t even sure I wanted it removed.
The thought of being bound to Ryder in some small way comforted me more than it should have, especially now that I knew he had a mate.
I was a fool for thinking about this. It would have been better had I moved on, but I couldn’t let go of him yet. Couldn’t I have at least this one, small joy? Perhaps not, since I’d chosen to lead him on from the beginning. Ryder deserved better.
* * *
Back home,Dad intercepted me before I could get far. He called me into the kitchen and gestured to a plate of food once I stepped past the doorway. I hesitated. Not out of fear of anything, but because what happened today was technically his fault.
Exhaustion dragged at the bags under my eyes. Even walking from my car into the house put me on edge. The feeling of being watched had returned. It was as if there were eyes on me at all times. Even after running into my Alpha, I still felt like one of Alvin’s blood-thirsty wolves would leap out of nowhere and drag me back to him any moment now.
But I’d made it inside without a problem. No one had been lying in wait. Maybe I was just overreacting. I’d made a stand and proved that I wouldn’t go down easy, not with my friends by my side. It might be a while before Alvin tried to attack me again.
I blinked at the plate while my brain tried to process what I was looking at. It seemed like Dad had taken the time to cut vegetables and had even put hummus in a small bowl for me. My lips twisted to the side. While my stomach grumbled for the veggies, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to accept the peace offering.
Dad brought his own plate to the nearby table, sat down, and looked up at me. His expression softened the longer he watched me. Finally, he sighed.
“You can’t be mad at me forever,” Dad said.
I scowled, fury hitting my gut. The dark presence unfurled again. It hissed like a snake. I didn’t let it reach my tongue, though. This time, my hound blocked it and kept the arcana from bleeding into my conversation.
“I’m not mad. I’m tired.” I lied to his face.
Dad could probably tell that I’d lied. Even if he was an asshole, he was still my father.
He hung his head. “I did what I could to protect you. I put myself in harm’s way. I went to Alvin to talk to him on my own. That dragon can do what I cannot. I can tell he cares for you. Someone had to force him to stay or else you’d both end up losing out.”
I clenched my fists at my sides to keep from throwing my hands in the air. “You don’t get to make those decisions for me.”
He pressed his lips into a thin line. He looked as though he had more he wanted to say, then shook his head. His frustration slipped away and left him looking just as tired as I felt.
“I’m sorry,” Dad said, his voice so low it was almost a whisper.
What did I say to that? I wasn’t ready to accept his apology. I didn’t know if I ever would be. This man had spent half my life complaining about what I’d become. Hearing him bitch and moan that I wasn’t what he wanted me to be left me feeling like an invader in my own home. His sudden, misplaced altruism couldn’t make up for any of the things he’d said.
But I couldn’t say that to my father. I couldn’t tell him that he’d hurt me as much, if not more than the rest of the pack.
I just had to accept that this was a step in the right direction. “Next time…next time, can you talk to me first?Iknow what’s best for me. I’m the one who has been dealing with all of this.”
He opened his mouth, like he wanted to argue. After a moment, he closed it and nodded. I had the feeling that he wouldn’t stick to this agreement for long, but I appreciated the sentiment now.
I grabbed the plate of food that he’d prepared and climbed the stairs to my room. The box still sat, unopened, on my bed. It’d been a while since I’d last slept. I hadn’t told Bri or Ryder that my concern for him had kept me awake late into the nights. I hadn’t mentioned how badly I wanted him to stay, either.
I slumped on the floor, my back to the bed. The box radiated awful vibes, enough to make me sick to my stomach. I had to open it and look through its contents again, but I kept putting it off. The box held the last fragments of lives that had come to an early end, a violent end.
Anger turned my blood hot. I sucked in a deep breath and prepared myself for what I had to do. The dark presence of my new arcana writhed deep in my gut. There was nothing I could do with it now. Though my wrath had summoned it, the arcana had nowhere to go.
Okay, I can do this.
On my knees, I turned around and pulled the box closer. The sundresses were cheery, but the life had been drained out of them. Stains marred the floral and plaid prints. I let my vision blur, so I didn’t have to know which stains were mud and which were blood.