“Do you even know how to help me?” he asked.
Several emotions reached my face before I could pull a blank mask over my features. If Ryder caught the way my expression flickered with fear and frustration, he didn’t mention it.
I leaned back and shrugged. “No, you haven’t told me what you need yet.”
He opened his mouth, then shut it. The sound that came out of him was a tangled growl that wrenched my heart. I reached out for him but let my hand fall.
Ryder and I weren’t even friends. Yet, I wanted to comfort him like a lover. I pushed back the urge to pull his head to my bosom. He wasn’t going to cry into my tits, for heaven’s sake.
“Listen,” I said. “Until you can tell me what you need, I won’t know what to do.”
“Mhm, sure. You seemed pretty surprised by your own actions today. It almost looked like your arcana got the better of you.” He turned that piercing glare upon me.
I’d hoped for a respite, but I could tell that I’d been a fool. I bit the tip of my tongue while I considered my options. I could tell him the truth and promise that I would work on whatever he needed. If Ryder didn’t like that, he might leave me alone here.
After seeing what Connor had been put through, no one else in the pack would help. They were all afraid that they would end up like him. If I made one wrong move while they were helpless, then that was it. I doubted that many trusted me to not act up when their lives depended on my submission.
My throat tightened. The lump in it made swallowing difficult.
“I didn’t mean to do what I did today,” I said. That wasn’t exactly a lie. I’d controlled him by accident. “If I offended you, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to kill Harvey. You made it clear that you don’t want to be that kind of person.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. I kept my face unreadable, or my best approximation of unreadable. Ryder seemed fine with that because his shoulders fell in defeat.
He ran a hand over his face, grabbed a slice of pizza, and took a big bite before letting himself fall back into the couch. Once more, I wanted to crawl into his lap. Despite how I kept lying to him, I still felt safe in his presence.
I wasn’t used to the feeling that Ryder provided. I wanted to luxuriate in it because I knew that the moment I stepped outside again, I would be hunted. Once more, Ryder offered to let me stay here. This time, I mulled his offer over.
Today’s events had started the moment I left Ryder’s house the other night. Harvey had been lying in wait. He would be out there, again. Especially after what happened. Harvey would want to prove his masculinity.
I shuddered and pulled my knees up to my chest. Harvey’s threat echoed in my ears. The memory of his voice left my blood cold.
If Ryder figured out about the things Harvey had told me, then he would hunt Harvey down. I knew that in my very bones. Ryder was a good man. I couldn’t let him soil his soul like that.
This was my problem. I just needed a little help to deal with it. That’s all.
“Sure,” I said, finally. “I’ll stay. I’ll call someone to have them drop off clothes.”
Ryder
I wasn’t sosure that Ness could help me anymore. The look of shock on her face when she’d taken control of my body had told me as much. Ness might not know what she was doing. If I stayed and helped her, Morgan would find me, and no one would be able to stop him from enacting his revenge.
After today, I suspected that maybe Ness could stop him, literally. The problem with that was that she might not know how to do that on command.
It’d seemed like an accident born out of desperation. I couldn’t put my faith in something so fragile. She would be the end of me.
I could feel it.
Still, I watched her answer the door when her father arrived to drop off her overnight bag. The man gave me a lazy salute before taking off once again. He didn’t even warn me not to touch his daughter, like any other over-protective father might.
Ness left to change out of her jeans. She returned wearing a pair of silky shorts with little bones all over them. My gut clenched with need. Immediately, I wanted to pull her into my lap so I could run my hands down her legs and savor her soft skin.
Why? Why did the sight of her thighs conjure thoughts like this?
I’d been alone for too long.
If I let my feelings get involved, then this wouldn’t work out. I’d get stuck here. No woman was worth that. Not when I had hell on my heels.
I shoved a pizza box in her direction before taking the third box into the bedroom for her friend. On his back, he stared at the ceiling. He must have gotten some sleep because the swelling in his face had gone down.