Not for anyone.
Behind me, Mom threw a set of sweats and a pack of wet wipes into the room. I startled and leapt back from the doggy door. My heartrate skyrocketed. I pressed my palm to my chest to keep my heart where it belonged—inside my body.
A soft whine outside pulled my attention back to the door. The pain I heard in that one sound made me leap to my feet. I ignored the wet wipes and threw on the clothes so I could burst outside once more. A part of me wanted to go back where it was safe, but I lurched down the back steps anyway.
The sound of someone in need made me run across the lawn. Mud climbed up my ankles and splattered my sweatpants. At the fence, I paused and waited for the sound again. Breath held, I pressed my hand to the fence and strained to listen.
This could have been a trick. Harvey wasn’t above deceit. They knew that I wasn’t as heartless as they were. I wouldn’t leave someone who needed my help.
Pack meant more to me than it did to them.
No matter how long I waited, I didn’t hear the sound again. Wherever it’d come from, it was no longer around. I could have sworn that I’d heard a wolf whine. That’s what it had sounded like. If Harvey had baited me, then he wouldn’t have given up so easily.
That could only mean the sound had been real. Someone had been calling out for help.
I clenched my fists and looked around. In the glow of the windows behind me, I noticed a ladder leaning up against the house. Hurrying, I grabbed it and dragged it over to the fence so I could peer into the world beyond.
I had to remember that just because I was in my own yard, that didn’t mean that I was safe. Harvey could easily grab me and pull me over the fence before anyone could stop him. That didn’t deter me, though. I climbed the ladder and searched the darkness behind the house for signs of where that sound had come from.
“Where are you?” I whispered.
A wolf had saved me. I just knew it. Deep down, I knew that a wolf had hit Harvey to give me time to run. Helping me would not go without punishment. I’d gotten away because of someone else’s sacrifice.
Ice filled my veins. I could see no one no matter how I craned my neck. Disappointed and concerned, I stepped down from the ladder.
The back door flew open, making me jump. Dad’s silhouette filled the doorway.
“What the hell are you doing outside? Get your ass back in here where we know you’re safe.”
As much as I wanted to argue and tell him that he didn’t care if I was safe, I remembered what Ryder had told me. My father had stuck his neck out for me. Dad had sent Ryder to Queen Beryl, too. Though I wasn’t sure if that was the best piece of advice he’d given, I figured he might have had good intentions at heart.
I wished someone would give me their all. If one person could have my back in every way, maybe I would be able to go out and live my own life. Dad would only help if I was near death. Ryder needed something from me and the moment I gave it to him, he would vanish. Connor and the others were too afraid to risk their necks.
I had the ladies at Bad Moon Café, but I didn’t want to risk their safety, too. They weren’t shifters. No one at the café had shifter healing.
Maybe I was just making up excuses to not ask for help. It didn’t feel right to involve them in this fight when they weren’t really a part of it. Even Cerri, who had been born to shifter parents, had managed to escape the worst of Alvin’s cruelty. I wasn’t about to pull her into his warpath.
Sad and concerned for whoever had helped me, I wrapped my arms around myself and carried my exhausted bones back inside. Mom had left a sandwich on the counter for me. There was even a pickle on the plate. I spared a moment to wash my hands before carrying the sandwich upstairs, so I could scarf it down while the shower water heated up.
The hot water seared the healing scratches on my palms, but I savored the pain that reminded me I was still alive. It was a small thing, one that I wished I didn’t have to rely upon. Did Janessa or Kelsey feel the same way? Alvin and Harvey threatened them into submission. The women in this pack were too afraid to take my place.
Someone entered the bathroom. The scent of Mom’s perfume danced in the moist air as I heard the creak of the toilet lid. Mom sighed from her seat. I stilled, unsure of where this conversation might go.
Mom wasn’t pack. She had a little fae blood in her, but that was about it. She didn’t have quick healing or super strength. She didn’t even have any arcana, as far as I knew. For the most part, Mom was a human who knew too much about Lakesedge.
“Do you need anything else?” she asked. “If you need more to eat, I can defrost some lasagna.”
I hesitated. A knot in my chest blocked any words that I might have said. I knew an apology would come next. Mom’s guilt over my situation weighed heavily on her. While Dad blamed her, I knew that she never could have anticipated what would happen. Any anger I might have felt towards her fae blood faded when I watched her cry.
“Have…” Mom paused. “Have you thought about leaving? If you went to college in another state and found a good job, you wouldn’t have to worry about anything here. It could all go back to normal.”
Her words cut me down. My lungs tightened.
Back to normal.
After what Alvin had done, could the pack go back to normal? Could they just ignore everything that Alvin was capable of? I didn’t want to think so, but it seemed like they were all desperate to pretend that nothing had ever happened.
Hot tears mingled with the shower spray as I said, “I don’t want to waste money on college tuition when I don’t know what I would do.”
Mom made a sound of acknowledgement in her throat. That sound trailed off. “I just want you to be safe. You could find another pack, one that would protect you. There’s a good one in Tennessee.”
I dropped into a crouch and wrapped my arms around myself. Why did I have to give up everything I knew just for existing? Lakesedge was my home. This pack was still my family, even if they didn’t have backbones.
“Can we just watch some TV tonight?” I asked. “Maybe make some popcorn?”
“Do you want me to add the buffalo seasoning?”
“Sure.” I stood and rinsed my hair.
There wasn’t enough water to wash away the events of the night.