His face, hair falling in a veil around us, filled my vision. “Are you going to behave?”
“Eat shit,” I whispered, exhausted.
I covered my face with my hands and waited for my heartrate to settle once again. My hound still paced wildly. She wanted to know where Ryder was and make sure that he wasn’t going to hurt me, but I kept my vision obscured by my own hands.
When Ryder spoke again, his voice was still just as close. “I meant what I said. I won’t hurt you, Ness.”
I’d just lost my mind and told him to eat shit, but still he kept his cool. He gave me his word that he wouldn’t harm me. I wasn’t used to men who had my best interests in mind. We’d spent half this discussion trying to pull away from one another.
That canyon that had opened between us suddenly didn’t seem so large. I pulled my hands away from my face and peered up at him. Sincerity arched the middle of his brows. His lips parted as our gazes locked.
I clenched my fists to keep from reaching for him. The desperate need to know what he tasted like nearly won out. I kept it back, but only barely. My fingertips grazed the front of his shirt before I realized what I’d done.
Ryder took ahold of my wrist without breaking eye contact. My heart pattered again, but not in fear. This time something else overcame me. My damned hound rolled over and exposed her belly to him again. I wanted him, too, but she could play it cool for five minutes.
Before I could decide whether or not to act on my thoughts, Ryder pulled away. His fingers slipped away from my wrist and left me bereft. My hand crashed down to my chest, where it lay useless.
Ryder turned his back to me as he gripped his hair and tugged. “Do you know what Treasure Sickness is?”
So, we weren’t going to talk about what just happened there? I was okay with ignoring my little freak-out, but I wanted to address the chemistry in the room. Instead, I swallowed my stupid feelings back down and shook my head.
It took me longer than I wanted to admit to remember that Ryder couldn’t see me with his back turned. After that, I choked out a pathetic, “No.”
He stalked into the kitchen. I heard the fridge open and the clank of glass bottles knocking against one another. The soft hiss of a bottle being opened slithered into the living room. Growing impatient, I waited for him to return.
When he stepped back into the room, he took a long drag from the bottle before speaking. “Dragons are a little different from other shifters. We collect things. For some, that manifests in knickknacks. For others, it’s coins or stamps. Our leaders collect their clan. That’s what motivates them to keep the clan safe.”
I cocked my head. There were few to no similarities between stamps and people, but I didn’t point that out.
“Sometimes, Treasure Sickness can manifest in dragons. It takes the form of paranoia and anger. I watched my clan leader become paranoid that his people would leave him. He started lashing out against them. It got to the point where I was taking the brunt of his anger just to hide it from the others, so they wouldn’t have to know.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Shifters don’t always know how to act when their leader turns against them.”
The look Ryder gave me held more sadness than I knew what to do with. I clamped my lips shut and reminded myself that I didn’t know his clanmates.
Ryder didn’t go on. I bit my lip to keep from saying anything stupid.
What did any of this have to do with me? If only witches could be more direct with their ominous statements. I wouldn’t be in this predicament so much. I would know how to help Ryder, so he wouldn’t have to stay too much longer.
My gaze dropped to the medallion that had fallen out from behind his shirt when he’d grabbed me. He’d made a promise to Queen Beryl in order to protect himself against Alvin. I shouldn’t have felt so guilty about a decision that Ryder had made by himself, but I couldn’t help it. Knowing that my father had suggested it made it even worse.
I wrapped my arms around myself and whispered, “I just want to be safe.”
Ryder sighed, a sound filled with pity. I had the urge to punch him in the groin but stayed where I was. Making him hurt because I couldn’t withstand his pity wouldn’t change anything. I wasn’t going to be like Alvin. My anger and fear would not get the best of me.
I would be a better person than Alvin or Harvey. This pack deserved better, and I was willing to do the work to make that happen. At least, I was willing to do it for now. My motivation waned. Fear slowly ate at me from the inside out.
Though Ryder had promised to keep me safe, he wouldn’t stay forever. I couldn’t count on the dragon shifter to always have my back.
Not for the first time, the idea of leaving tiptoed into my mind. There was a sanctuary in Tennessee and a rehabilitation pack in Oregon. They would be able to protect me. I wouldn’t have to worry about giving my schedule to the Alpha. The feeling of being watched wouldn’t haunt me so much.
No. I couldn’t leave. I’d just promised to help my pack. What kind of person would I be if I left to safe myself?
Alive.
“What did you do? Why did you have to leave your clan?” I asked.
Ryder remained silent. When I looked at him, I found him staring out a window at the skyline. The way his eyes flicked over the horizon warned me that he was waiting for someone. A shiver rippled down my spine.