28
MADDOX
Ithrew my head back and howled.
Though Bastien was the reason for this beastly body, Addie had done something even worse. She’d turned me into the one thing I never wanted to be. I’d fought so hard to keep from ever taking a life. It was precious.
There were ways to punish sinners. We could keep our community safe without killing.
But she’d made sure that there was death on my hands. If she hadn’t used so much of her power, then maybe Bastien would have survived that impact. I knew that her control was shaky, but she could have warned me of what she’d done. She could have stopped me from hitting him so hard.
I refused to forgive her. Even if my beast whined and clawed at me, the ugly creature begging me to return to her side, I would refuse.
Addie
I never wantedto smell dirt ever again.
Okay, that was a whole-hearted lie. We all knew that I couldn’t give up my favorite escape, but it would be a long time until I went camping again after what happened. There was still dirt under my fingernails that I couldn’t quite get out. I shuddered every time I noticed until I finally gave up and painted my nails black—because I was sure that the dirt wasn’t real at this point.
My own mind was haunting me like a ghost.
Yet, here I was, standing on recently overturned dirt. I’d had to come out to make sure that the hold had been broken once and for all. While I was certain that Bastien would never find his way back, I didn’t know if that went for his creatures.
The other Reaper’s cat was still here.
Did that mean that Alvin was still alive where I’d buried him? I couldn’t let that man escape and run free to hunt more women. It was bad enough that it’d taken me this long to put Bastien to rest.
I wanted a peaceful life, but that didn’t seem to be in the cards for me. Like my friends, I was more than human. Each of us had a connection to power far beyond the scope of the normal—okay, normal for the supernatural community.
Ness was a Barghest, a storm hound bound to hunt in the name of justice. Vi wasLucifer’s daughter. We were all reeling from that one, still. And Cerri apparently had ties to the Seelie court that even she didn’t know about.
My connection was to old gods, ones that had been worshiped before the coming of Lucifer and his father. After I was done here, I would try to find out more about what I was.
But first, I had an asshole to take apart.
This time, I didn’t bother trying to save Luca’s estate. I pulled life from the foliage around me and raised my hand to bring the bone cage out of the ground. Though I heard nothing inside the cage, that meant little when dealing with the sneaky Alpha wolf.
I parted the bone walls of the cage and saw a blur rush towards me. Cracking open that door inside me, I tugged on the bright blue arcana and wrapped it around Alvin. He dropped, immediately.
“I don’t have the patience today,” I said to the dying wolf.
He rolled angry eyes towards me right before the light faded from them. I used the blue arcana to crush his soul. He came undone, much like Jaden had so many nights ago.
Unlike the night with Jaden, I didn’t feel any guilt today.
I stared down at the fading corpse and prodded the guilt that had been sitting in me for days. It festered like an infection, telling me all sorts of lies that made my blood boil.
I still hadn’t heard from Maddox. Though I wanted to reach out with my arcana, I kept it to myself. I didn’t call him. I didn’t even go back to the mountains, instead dealing with the barrage of spirits here.
My core clenched when I lifted my head and looked in Maddox’s direction. I knew where he was at all times because of our connection. It was a constant reminder that I’d failed him. I wanted to be the kind of person that he could be proud of.
And that meant doing more to help people.
I’d been running from myself for too long. It was time to put this power to work for those around me. Even if Maddox never came back, I would find a way to balance this cosmic debt for him.
I promise.