Why did I want him so badly?
He was a cantankerous, uptight workaholic whose life I’d ruined by putting him in the way of an undead shifter. There was no reason for me to feel so deeply for a man that I would never be able to have, but I couldn’t help but steal glances at him as he continued to work.
His shoulders bunched and his arms flexed when he lifted another piece of rubble. The sound of his grunts made me think of…other things. I recalled his body pressed against mine in my bed while he warned me to stay put.
My face warmed. I turned away from him and went to work sorting out the house layout while he gathered the courage to keep talking. Silence stretched between us for a while. My heart thumped nervously, making me think that I’d overstepped all of his boundaries once again.
I never meant to. I was simply a fool that had no experience interacting with people for more than thirty seconds at a time—just long enough to order a coffee. When it came to my friends, I didn’t even spend that much time with them either. There were ghosts around them all.
“I’m surprised you haven’t met her, yet.” Maddox threw a piece of concrete towards the distant woods. He turned towards me. “Paige and I were married for about a year before she realized I wasn’t enough. I caught…”
My heart leapt into my throat. “No. No, you don’t have to keep going.”
This wasn’t what I wanted. We were supposed to be figuring out what a Reaper was, not airing our old dirty laundry.
Maddox gave a bitter shrug. “It’s fine. Like I said, she’s going to tell you. When she realizes I’m spending time with another woman, she’ll come back and let you know that I was an awful husband.”
Lips twisted to the side, I stayed quiet. No matter what he said, I had my doubts. Maddox could be all the things I’d called him earlier. He could be moody and determined, but he was also kind and wanted nothing more than to protect people. I had my doubts that this woman really knew him, even if they were married.
My dad and step-mom had a similar relationship. I’d watched too many couples settle for one another rather than hold out forthe one. It made for an awful relationship, especially when the couple kept trying when they really should leave one another.
“I mean it,” I said softly. “You don’t have to tell me anything.”
He grumbled.
I was tempted to pull a Ness and command him to keep his secrets for today, but that would have been a violation of his autonomy. Still, I wished he didn’t have this need to prove himself right now. It made both of us unnecessarily uncomfortable.
Man, I almost wished the killer would show up out of nowhere just to put an end to this conversation. At least, then our attention would be on something actually important.
There was no one lingering around Maddox. We’d been in each other’s company for days now, and not one ghost had made an appearance—not even victims of crimes he hadn’t solved. His ex-wife must have moved on. The burden of what happened was sitting with him while she thrived in the afterlife.
Would he care if I told him that? Would it hurt his feelings if he learned that she’d bounced and left him behind?
Before I could think too much more about it, Maddox unveiled a fallen bookshelf. Excitedly, I leapt into the mess and started going through titles. The books weren’t in the best of shape. They’d taken a bit of a beating in the collapse, but I could still piece them together.
“This isn’t the right section, but we are close.” I lifted my head and peered at the concrete around us.
Somewhere underneath this was the answers that I needed. My heart thundered, and my breath trembled between my lips. Thoughts of Maddox’s past vanished as excitement hit me. Soon, I would learn about Reapers.
Soon.
“What am I supposed to do while you read?” Maddox asked, brow raised.
I shrugged. “You could read with me. If you don’t want to do research today, you could shift and stretch your legs as a wolf.”
The suggestion made Maddox’s expression tight. He clearly didn’t like the idea. That mentality would blow up in his face.
“You can’t just shift when there’s an emergency,” I pressed.
He wrinkled his nose. “I’ll do whatever I please.”
I rolled my eyes. Men were…a different breed. When Vi and Ness complained about their mates, I always thought they were being ungrateful. They’d been given lovers who would move the earth and sky for them. What did they have to complain about?
However, I could see why they were frustrated now. Men were stubborn and refused to use the three braincells that they were given by their gracious mothers.
“I know you have limited brain functions as a man, and most of them go to your dick, but you should try using that brain to think rationally for once.”
I couldn’t believe the words that’d just left my mouth. That was something that one of my friends would have said. Somehow, they’d possessed me from a distance. Or, perhaps, Maddox inspired the worst in me.